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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 164201" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Do not feel guilty about not talking to him. Likely he has been abusing children well before you found out. We all adopt to try to help--if we adopt older/special needs kids. And, like me, maybe you felt love would be enough. And, like me, you found out it's not. Sadly, some kids are beyond saving--they are too damaged--that can happen as early as seven years old. If you do decide to have other children, you don't want an infant or toddler exposed to the danger that is this child. Child predators have a very bleak long term outcome. You can't save the world...you tried to save this boy but, for reasons that have nothing to do with you or your hub, he was already broken and may never be fixed. Please don't feel you have to talk to him. That will only give him hope that maybe he can come home and since predators are good at manipulation he may even claim remorse, cry, and get you to take him back. in my opinion it's not worth the risk. Plus he could be dangerous on other levels...you just don't know. Our child killed our dog and set little fires in the house in front of our two kids. After he left, they showed us the little patches of frayed carpet where he'd set fire to show them that he indeed would "burn the house down." He used a weapon on my kids to make them do things they didn't want (a knife that he'd stolen from the store). He was seen by adults as such a good kid that it's scary. </p><p></p><p>Don't regret your decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 164201, member: 1550"] Do not feel guilty about not talking to him. Likely he has been abusing children well before you found out. We all adopt to try to help--if we adopt older/special needs kids. And, like me, maybe you felt love would be enough. And, like me, you found out it's not. Sadly, some kids are beyond saving--they are too damaged--that can happen as early as seven years old. If you do decide to have other children, you don't want an infant or toddler exposed to the danger that is this child. Child predators have a very bleak long term outcome. You can't save the world...you tried to save this boy but, for reasons that have nothing to do with you or your hub, he was already broken and may never be fixed. Please don't feel you have to talk to him. That will only give him hope that maybe he can come home and since predators are good at manipulation he may even claim remorse, cry, and get you to take him back. in my opinion it's not worth the risk. Plus he could be dangerous on other levels...you just don't know. Our child killed our dog and set little fires in the house in front of our two kids. After he left, they showed us the little patches of frayed carpet where he'd set fire to show them that he indeed would "burn the house down." He used a weapon on my kids to make them do things they didn't want (a knife that he'd stolen from the store). He was seen by adults as such a good kid that it's scary. Don't regret your decision. [/QUOTE]
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