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Substance Abuse
He can't come home for Christmas...
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<blockquote data-quote="Ephchap" data-source="post: 7713" data-attributes="member: 27"><p>CA Mom,</p><p></p><p>Sorry to be coming in on this so late.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you seem to have made peace with where your son is, and that yes, this is only a blip on the radar of the many things that you can look forward to in the future - with your son a healthier, drug free, son.</p><p></p><p>I've thought from the beginning, and I think I voiced it, that they seem to be allowing a lot of visits from you and husband and home visits. Many/most places do want to give the difficult child some time to work on positive change before doing any visits.</p><p></p><p>With our son, once he was allowed visits, they were definitely restricted. He was not allowed to just go out. He was required to attend an AA or NA meeting each day he was home, and had to be driven either by husband and I or his AA sponsor. Period. No deviation.</p><p></p><p>The fact that your son saw his old buddies and was exposed to the drugs and didn't feel comfortable or that he was ready to come home again and refuse the drugs again says a lot. It also says he's not ready to come home for a while.</p><p></p><p>As for you and husband visiting, considering the distance and the fact that he is 17 (not a younger child or early teen), I would think that every other weekend is more than enough. He's certainly not going to think you're abandoning him, especially since you said you are allowed phone calls so often, which is also unusual, in my humble opinion. I've never heard of a program that would allow daily phone calls, so your son should certainly know that you and husband are supportive of him.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. You have to keep the goal in mind - that he work the program and change his ways.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs,</p><p>Deb</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ephchap, post: 7713, member: 27"] CA Mom, Sorry to be coming in on this so late. I'm glad you seem to have made peace with where your son is, and that yes, this is only a blip on the radar of the many things that you can look forward to in the future - with your son a healthier, drug free, son. I've thought from the beginning, and I think I voiced it, that they seem to be allowing a lot of visits from you and husband and home visits. Many/most places do want to give the difficult child some time to work on positive change before doing any visits. With our son, once he was allowed visits, they were definitely restricted. He was not allowed to just go out. He was required to attend an AA or NA meeting each day he was home, and had to be driven either by husband and I or his AA sponsor. Period. No deviation. The fact that your son saw his old buddies and was exposed to the drugs and didn't feel comfortable or that he was ready to come home again and refuse the drugs again says a lot. It also says he's not ready to come home for a while. As for you and husband visiting, considering the distance and the fact that he is 17 (not a younger child or early teen), I would think that every other weekend is more than enough. He's certainly not going to think you're abandoning him, especially since you said you are allowed phone calls so often, which is also unusual, in my humble opinion. I've never heard of a program that would allow daily phone calls, so your son should certainly know that you and husband are supportive of him. Hang in there. You have to keep the goal in mind - that he work the program and change his ways. Sending hugs, Deb [/QUOTE]
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He can't come home for Christmas...
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