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He Did It Again
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<blockquote data-quote="GoingNorth" data-source="post: 161794" data-attributes="member: 1963"><p>Blue, the more and more of your postings I get it really sounds to me that you got into this relationship way too soon after being widowed.</p><p></p><p>As I said, grief work is WORK and it takes time. Your SO has made it quite clear that he cannot support you.</p><p></p><p>You really have no choice but to look for other sources of support such as Public Aid, Energy Assistance, and you will need to cut back no all necessities.</p><p></p><p>Cable TV is not a necessity. Internet access is available at nearly all public libraries.</p><p></p><p>If it makes you feel any better, and it probably doesn't; it is VERY common for widow/ers, especially the young ones, to fall into the goody trap of the first "good offer' when they are at such a vulnerable time in their one healing.</p><p></p><p>Remember, that first year is the one where you are encased in numbness to a degree. </p><p></p><p>Start planning your future now: who you want to be, how to get there, all of that.</p><p></p><p>The second year can be harder.</p><p></p><p>Also remember that while Kuebler-Ross may have written about 5 stages of grieving, she got a few things wrong. There is NO timetable for grief. It's not like being an alcoholic and "working the steps".</p><p></p><p>Raw grief will overwhelm you, sometimes years later and for what seems to be the most ridiculous reasons. It'll happen even if you are in the perfect new relationship and that is perfectly normal.</p><p></p><p>Have you had any luck with setting up local counselling or finding a grief support group (perhaps through Hospice in your area)?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GoingNorth, post: 161794, member: 1963"] Blue, the more and more of your postings I get it really sounds to me that you got into this relationship way too soon after being widowed. As I said, grief work is WORK and it takes time. Your SO has made it quite clear that he cannot support you. You really have no choice but to look for other sources of support such as Public Aid, Energy Assistance, and you will need to cut back no all necessities. Cable TV is not a necessity. Internet access is available at nearly all public libraries. If it makes you feel any better, and it probably doesn't; it is VERY common for widow/ers, especially the young ones, to fall into the goody trap of the first "good offer' when they are at such a vulnerable time in their one healing. Remember, that first year is the one where you are encased in numbness to a degree. Start planning your future now: who you want to be, how to get there, all of that. The second year can be harder. Also remember that while Kuebler-Ross may have written about 5 stages of grieving, she got a few things wrong. There is NO timetable for grief. It's not like being an alcoholic and "working the steps". Raw grief will overwhelm you, sometimes years later and for what seems to be the most ridiculous reasons. It'll happen even if you are in the perfect new relationship and that is perfectly normal. Have you had any luck with setting up local counselling or finding a grief support group (perhaps through Hospice in your area)? [/QUOTE]
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