Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
He didn't show
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 746427" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Your experience has made me think again about my contact with Tornado and my emotional descent into confusion and depression. Whether or not she meant what she said while she was locked up, it became just words. Words that I wanted to hear, to come true. “I want to be with my family again, with my kids.” “I will go to rehab.”</p><p>As you wrote “magic words”. </p><p>I began to think that maybe she could come home, maybe it would be better this time, maybe she is ready to change and being around family will make the difference. It took every bit of me to stop the train wreck of thoughts. </p><p>They reach in to the heart of us and stir our maternal instinct to go into magical thoughts that somehow what we say or do will have an impact on what their choices are.</p><p>Time and again it has become clear to me <em>after</em> the fact, that I become a moth to the flame of what my greatest wish for my two would be, for them to turn their lives around. </p><p>It’s not up to me, it’s up to them.</p><p>Magic words.</p><p>They know exactly what to say to get my head spinning and rattle my resolve to switch focus back to them.</p><p>Pulling at heart strings. Causing self doubt, feeling that there must be something I can do to make it better. </p><p>If these were not our own beloveds, we would have nothing to do with the circus.</p><p>That is the toughest thing of all, for us as mothers to see through the audacity of their actions, stand our ground and say no more.</p><p>I believe that if we don’t have enough respect for ourselves to stop the madness, they will continue to manipulate, gas light, use and abuse our emotions to try to get us to come to their terms. Accepting what their choices and consequences are, is different than denegrading our own lives, living up close and personal with it.</p><p>Two very hard roads to travel my friend. </p><p>The worry is always there, either way.</p><p>The work to switch focus to what we can control, ourselves, is always there.</p><p>No matter what you decide, please continue to make strides to take care of you. </p><p>I will do the same. It is imperative to place yourself as priority. For him and for you. He has to know that his mistreatment of you is unacceptable. It is Copa. No matter what the underlying reason, it’s unacceptable.</p><p>You matter. You have value and worth. Your time is precious.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 746427, member: 19522"] Your experience has made me think again about my contact with Tornado and my emotional descent into confusion and depression. Whether or not she meant what she said while she was locked up, it became just words. Words that I wanted to hear, to come true. “I want to be with my family again, with my kids.” “I will go to rehab.” As you wrote “magic words”. I began to think that maybe she could come home, maybe it would be better this time, maybe she is ready to change and being around family will make the difference. It took every bit of me to stop the train wreck of thoughts. They reach in to the heart of us and stir our maternal instinct to go into magical thoughts that somehow what we say or do will have an impact on what their choices are. Time and again it has become clear to me [I]after[/I] the fact, that I become a moth to the flame of what my greatest wish for my two would be, for them to turn their lives around. It’s not up to me, it’s up to them. Magic words. They know exactly what to say to get my head spinning and rattle my resolve to switch focus back to them. Pulling at heart strings. Causing self doubt, feeling that there must be something I can do to make it better. If these were not our own beloveds, we would have nothing to do with the circus. That is the toughest thing of all, for us as mothers to see through the audacity of their actions, stand our ground and say no more. I believe that if we don’t have enough respect for ourselves to stop the madness, they will continue to manipulate, gas light, use and abuse our emotions to try to get us to come to their terms. Accepting what their choices and consequences are, is different than denegrading our own lives, living up close and personal with it. Two very hard roads to travel my friend. The worry is always there, either way. The work to switch focus to what we can control, ourselves, is always there. No matter what you decide, please continue to make strides to take care of you. I will do the same. It is imperative to place yourself as priority. For him and for you. He has to know that his mistreatment of you is unacceptable. It is Copa. No matter what the underlying reason, it’s unacceptable. You matter. You have value and worth. Your time is precious. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
He didn't show
Top