I traveled all this way by train and he did not show.. I confirmed at the train station. He said he was leaving. He never did. He blames me. He turned off his phone. I'm devastated.
There is a reason …. The reason my son does not show up in similar circumstances is because HE DOES NOT WANT TO. He really does not want to see me or talk to me. ( If he really did WANT to, he would.) …. I don’t think of this as anything personal against me …. Just that he does not want to. He may plan to do it with me ahead of time – (just to momentarily appease or humor me or think maybe he could ) … but at the moment of truth … HIS truth wins out …. he will do what he wants - No Show. He is his own person.I still dont think its personal, but there is no reason why he cant show up
As for blaming you, when I think of this in relation to my son - what I think my son blames are my expectations (or what he perceives as my expectations. ) He knows very well what I would like to see happen with and for him (even though I have given up expectations , he still thinks I have them.) ---- He knows himself that he will not meet those perceived expectations.He blames me .
Agree.I think that maybe its finally time to stop going after him .
I am so sorry to hear this news Copa. In another post you said you feel like a stupid fool. I have felt the full blunt of feeling like a 'stupid fool' and one time when I got pushed just so far this stupid fool, idiot, got this strength to fight back with all my might and competely cut my daughter off for 3 months. It was the deep feeling of 'stupid fool' that I am grateful for because it made me take action to make the madness stop. It is horrible and not healthy to feel like a stupid fool, it is painful, stressful and harms self esteem.. I hope you put your feelings of feeling like a stupid fool to action and jump above and start feeling like a lovely kind human being not being a punching bag anymore. I pray strength and divine guidance for you to make this madness stop.I traveled all this way by train and he did not show.. I confirmed at the train station. He said he was leaving. He never did. He blames me .He turned off his phone. I'm devastated.
I don't understand any of it. I don't know really if I agree with M. When he says what he said, I listen and it makes sense. And then a little time goes by, and I am confused again.What I dont understand is why he isnt afraid of the Hep B. That is a big ??? to me.
I think he suppresses his fear. I think his Body Dysmorphic Disorder could be a result of his displacing his fear and horror of his illness, onto his appearance.I dont understand is why he isnt afraid of the Hep B.
No. M is not back living with me, but he does visit nearly everyday (he's been here today for coffee, and I make dinner for him nearly everyday) and I go visit him. It is hard to be alone.I hope M is back with you. It is hard to be alone sometimes.
I think when he has contact with me he feels all of the loss he has created for himself in his life, and then doesn’t feel good about himself.
I am wondering if what J does not want me to see is that he is addicted to hard drugs.Even though I’m sure he knows I love him more than anyone else he also knows I have simple expectations of him that he’s fallen down on drastically.