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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 746530" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Copa, I’ve been away a few days and am just catching up here. I’m so sorry he did this again. You know I’ve been through this gam with S and C many times (though at least it’s a 40 minute drive instead of a three hour train trip). I like your plan of having him confirm his arrival at the meeting place before you travel again - that seems fair given your two fruitless trips. </p><p></p><p>I do hope you have a chance to see him and talk in person before making any final decisions on bringing him home. I agree with others that you should do what is right for you here, and if that means bringing him back with no expectations I get that. But if it were me I would need to think carefully, especially if you are concerned about heavier drug use. Are you sure you can accept him there if he has made no changes in his behavior? Or if his behavior has worsened? What happens if it doesn’t work out - will that put you right back where you were when you threw him out the first time? I’m not saying don’t do it - just think it through, and be sure you are clear yourself on what your own hopes, expectations, boundaries and deal breakers are. </p><p></p><p>Sending you big hugs. I’m glad you connected by phone at least.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 746530, member: 23349"] Copa, I’ve been away a few days and am just catching up here. I’m so sorry he did this again. You know I’ve been through this gam with S and C many times (though at least it’s a 40 minute drive instead of a three hour train trip). I like your plan of having him confirm his arrival at the meeting place before you travel again - that seems fair given your two fruitless trips. I do hope you have a chance to see him and talk in person before making any final decisions on bringing him home. I agree with others that you should do what is right for you here, and if that means bringing him back with no expectations I get that. But if it were me I would need to think carefully, especially if you are concerned about heavier drug use. Are you sure you can accept him there if he has made no changes in his behavior? Or if his behavior has worsened? What happens if it doesn’t work out - will that put you right back where you were when you threw him out the first time? I’m not saying don’t do it - just think it through, and be sure you are clear yourself on what your own hopes, expectations, boundaries and deal breakers are. Sending you big hugs. I’m glad you connected by phone at least. [/QUOTE]
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