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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 746535" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>I understand. I really do. Having him in such an unstable living situation is unbearable for you. Not knowing if he is ok is unbearable to you. Having him back at the other house feels like it restores some control over the situation. And perhaps it would. Perhaps for you and for J it would be better than what you are going through now. </p><p></p><p>I can only think through this as it would go down with my two wayward ones. I can’t have them here, even knowing they are on the streets, because I can already see how it would end. With me throwing them back out. Probably police involvement. A legal mess with tenants rights and eviction proceedings. And a broken relationship. </p><p></p><p>I could not do what you are contemplating - allowing them to live on my property with no expectations. I have the same worries you do, that perhaps I am expecting things of them that they just aren’t capable of. Especially S. (Still missing...). But I still cannot bring them into my world. I agonize over it. I feel guilty. But I can’t invite them back in. I could not bear to be a witness to the way they are living. We can have a relationship only from a distance, because getting too close and seeing to much is too painful. </p><p></p><p>But J is not C or S, and you are not me. Your answer may be different. </p><p></p><p>I just want to make sure you are making a decision with clear eyes and a clear heart, and not from a place of fear.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 746535, member: 23349"] I understand. I really do. Having him in such an unstable living situation is unbearable for you. Not knowing if he is ok is unbearable to you. Having him back at the other house feels like it restores some control over the situation. And perhaps it would. Perhaps for you and for J it would be better than what you are going through now. I can only think through this as it would go down with my two wayward ones. I can’t have them here, even knowing they are on the streets, because I can already see how it would end. With me throwing them back out. Probably police involvement. A legal mess with tenants rights and eviction proceedings. And a broken relationship. I could not do what you are contemplating - allowing them to live on my property with no expectations. I have the same worries you do, that perhaps I am expecting things of them that they just aren’t capable of. Especially S. (Still missing...). But I still cannot bring them into my world. I agonize over it. I feel guilty. But I can’t invite them back in. I could not bear to be a witness to the way they are living. We can have a relationship only from a distance, because getting too close and seeing to much is too painful. But J is not C or S, and you are not me. Your answer may be different. I just want to make sure you are making a decision with clear eyes and a clear heart, and not from a place of fear. [/QUOTE]
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