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<blockquote data-quote="Triedntrue" data-source="post: 746556" data-attributes="member: 21499"><p>I have tried to catch up on this post but am not sure i caught it all. In my opinion you need to take some time and make some decisions about what you want and what you can deal with on your own before you present anything to M orJ. I don't think the upheavel in your mind is going to help anybody. When you are able to make a decision and abide by what that decision entails then present that to M and J and get their input. If they feel differently you have to accept that and they have to accept the consequenses of that as well. The up and down ,maybe this maybe that, is not going to benefit anyone. No one doubts that you are loving and want what is best for everyone but i think that you need to be able to make a decision and stick to it. Then allow them to make their decisions based on what you will accept. That being said I know that is not easy i am in a similar position my husband criticizes most of my decisions regaurding my son and if or when i should help. I know my son is mentally ill but as people here have reminded me he still has to take responsibility to get help for himself . They may not ever achieve what we consider to be normal but we can't control that. Ultimately we can't make all the decisions for them because if we do what happens when we are gone. If you want him home just make sure you are willing to deal with what that entails and that that they are willing if either you or they aren't don't do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Triedntrue, post: 746556, member: 21499"] I have tried to catch up on this post but am not sure i caught it all. In my opinion you need to take some time and make some decisions about what you want and what you can deal with on your own before you present anything to M orJ. I don't think the upheavel in your mind is going to help anybody. When you are able to make a decision and abide by what that decision entails then present that to M and J and get their input. If they feel differently you have to accept that and they have to accept the consequenses of that as well. The up and down ,maybe this maybe that, is not going to benefit anyone. No one doubts that you are loving and want what is best for everyone but i think that you need to be able to make a decision and stick to it. Then allow them to make their decisions based on what you will accept. That being said I know that is not easy i am in a similar position my husband criticizes most of my decisions regaurding my son and if or when i should help. I know my son is mentally ill but as people here have reminded me he still has to take responsibility to get help for himself . They may not ever achieve what we consider to be normal but we can't control that. Ultimately we can't make all the decisions for them because if we do what happens when we are gone. If you want him home just make sure you are willing to deal with what that entails and that that they are willing if either you or they aren't don't do it. [/QUOTE]
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