He is in detox

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jul 14, 2015.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Phew...it's been quite a day. Yesterday he made a bunch of calls but he did not have a place and he was a mess dealing with his withdrawal from alcohol...I can't believe we did this but we actually gave him money last night for some booze so he could make it through the night. I am embarrassed to admit this hear but alcohol withdrawal can be so dangerous I was afraid not to. It felt very icky to me to do this but we did it and told him we would not do it again and he needed to get somewhere to detox today!!

    So he called a bunch of places and got calls back today...a couple places didn't have beds til thurs or Friday which was too late in my opinion. It was a bit touch and go in our conversations because he was being too picky in my opinion. He was starting to talk about forgetting and just continuing to drink! Our condition was it had to be a place approved by our insurance so that we at least have a chance of not paying for it all. Finally he talked to a place that took our insurance ( after a deductible) and he went through their intake process and they accepted him. It was 80 miles away and we started the drive. He was getting very edgy from starting withdrawal....he asked us to stop and buy some nips before we got there...one reason being they would breathalyze him and it would be better if something showed up. I didn't buy that since he was going through withdrawal and they had already said they would take them.

    Well of course the other reason is he wanted one last drink. I said no he was on his way there....and then he went into full nasty manipulation mode obviously desperate....threatening not to go etc...that I should think about the consequences of my decisions. I told him he should do, and whatever consequences there were for his decisions were on him not me. I told him I had done it last night against my principals because I was worried about how he would get through the night but I was not going to go against what felt right to me again.

    So needless to say it was a stressful and tense ride there. We did make it and he did go in? They were really nice and the place is small and nice. The detox manager was very warm and I felt good about the place. I think he relaxed slightly too....and he did give us good hugs goodbye. We may be able to go visit on Friday before we leave sat to go back home.

    I am relieved he is there....but still overwhelmed a bit with sadness for him and how bad things got..

    One thing I like about this place is they start with the 7 day detox and it is not until you are detoxes that you make a decision about rehab options. They did ask him if he was thinking about their residential program? He is thinking about it but doesn't have to make a decision about it yet. I think this is good because I don't think right now he can make a well thought out decision because of all the poisons in his system. So I am hoping he will do the residential program...but that will be his decision.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    It's a step in the right direction, TL.
    Sending hugs.
  3. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Im so glad he went!
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    You are right about Friday. I will call the detox manager on Thursday to see what she thinks....it is hard for us to visit because we are across the country....and he may not be in a place for us to visit so we shall see what the manager thinks.
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That's huge. It sure must've been harrowing for all of you. I'm glad he's there. I think you made all the right choices on the way.
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    So glad to hear!! Don't beat yourself up about buying the alcohol. Withdrawal could kill them. When my dad went into hospice for his cancer, they allowed him to drink because they said the withdrawal would kill him faster than the cancer.
    I just hope that now your son gets the help he needs. My dad was an alcoholic all his life. Not fun at all for any of us. :(
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Yeah I am not beating myself up...I kind of felt stuck with the choice but I think because we did it the night before he tried again.....and it felt like the ultimate in enabling but yes I was afraid of what would happen if we didn. I did get a good night sleep last night. I was so exhausted. This stuff takes so much out of you!
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes a step in the right direction. I hope he chooses residential. So many just want to detox so they can start over again. What a horrible cycle.
  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am glad that he is safe and in good hands.