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Substance Abuse
He is Ramping up Please give me Strenght.
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 721999" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Just as you expected him to.</p><p></p><p>He's been ignoring your rules and expectations for months now, and he knew this day was coming and continued to do it anyway.</p><p></p><p>He did not meet his probation requirements, did not participate in rehab, and did not go to school when he had the benefit of your home and your supervision. Why would he think anything would change if you let him return to the same environment?</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is to make a chronological list of all the times you've helped and what he did with those chances, then decide if anything is really different this time.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that it is easy for me to talk tough when it is not my child.</p><p></p><p>Also, I hesitate to post good news, because I have parental PTSD where son is concerned and don't want to "jinx" things.</p><p></p><p>BUT...</p><p></p><p>I believe that the *ONLY* reason my son is doing well presently is because he painted himself into a corner where his only choice was to sober up or go to prison.</p><p></p><p>My list of times we helped runs 20+ pages, but the only thing that gave him pause is the boot over his head.</p><p></p><p>Now that his thoughts are starting to clear (4+ months in) he's finding other motivation, but without that boot, he never would have even started. He says the same thing (and admits that even then it was iffy for the first month or so).</p><p></p><p>So I'm 100% with Leafy on this one. He's scared? GOOD. It's about time his choices started costing HIM some peace of mind for a change. He NEEDS to be scared. He NEEDS to be confronted full face with the consequences of his choices. He NEEDS to be rocked back on his heels and see and feel for himself that life as an addict is not fun at all.</p><p></p><p>Your son is well on his way to handing the addict the keys to the castle, LBL. Any help you give your son by way of improving his circumstances is only going to prolong and strengthen the addict's stranglehold by giving him a safe place to get high, and the only thing that will have been accomplished is that you will have weakened your authority.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 721999, member: 17720"] Just as you expected him to. He's been ignoring your rules and expectations for months now, and he knew this day was coming and continued to do it anyway. He did not meet his probation requirements, did not participate in rehab, and did not go to school when he had the benefit of your home and your supervision. Why would he think anything would change if you let him return to the same environment? My suggestion is to make a chronological list of all the times you've helped and what he did with those chances, then decide if anything is really different this time. Sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that it is easy for me to talk tough when it is not my child. Also, I hesitate to post good news, because I have parental PTSD where son is concerned and don't want to "jinx" things. BUT... I believe that the *ONLY* reason my son is doing well presently is because he painted himself into a corner where his only choice was to sober up or go to prison. My list of times we helped runs 20+ pages, but the only thing that gave him pause is the boot over his head. Now that his thoughts are starting to clear (4+ months in) he's finding other motivation, but without that boot, he never would have even started. He says the same thing (and admits that even then it was iffy for the first month or so). So I'm 100% with Leafy on this one. He's scared? GOOD. It's about time his choices started costing HIM some peace of mind for a change. He NEEDS to be scared. He NEEDS to be confronted full face with the consequences of his choices. He NEEDS to be rocked back on his heels and see and feel for himself that life as an addict is not fun at all. Your son is well on his way to handing the addict the keys to the castle, LBL. Any help you give your son by way of improving his circumstances is only going to prolong and strengthen the addict's stranglehold by giving him a safe place to get high, and the only thing that will have been accomplished is that you will have weakened your authority. [/QUOTE]
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He is Ramping up Please give me Strenght.
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