My W texted DS to say hello. We are scheduled to host a small get together for his 17th birthday this weekend. DS said he usually doesn't work on this day of the week, so we thought it would be fine, but apparently he did not alert his boss that he needed this particular day off (he works in a restaurant part time and DS has been trying to get more hours). He usually doesn't respond to those texts, even now, but he replied this time. He said that his boss had scheduled him to work on the day of his party. He asked my wife, "Should I just go in to work (one hour after his shift is supposed to end on the day he was asked to work)?" I gasped when my wife shared this with me. How could the idea of blowing off his shift, only to turn up an hour after said shift is scheduled to end, occur to him to begin with? On what planet would that ever be acceptable? He is baffled by the most mundane of interactions with other people; he has absolutely no idea of how to function in our world. I am trying very hard to approach not just DS but other problematic people/situations in my life, compassionately instead of judgmentally. DS suffers from severe social anxiety and the thought of having to approach his boss, and speak to him one on one to request a different shift schedule, is likely paralyzing. His social anxiety is the primary reason he cannot attend high school. And unfortunately, he refuses treatment, so his only recourse is to rely on his adolescent (and by definition, limited and faulty) coping skills....which are crippled even further by his anxiety. My wife sent him a text encouraging him to speak with his boss. I butted out as I am practicing doing. I know he has a friend who works at the same place, so maybe he and this friend can manage to switch shifts. I am hopeful our get together will still take place as planned, but DS tends to run from anything triggering his anxiety, so it's possible he may not show up here and instead work his scheduled shift. But I don't have a crystal ball....I will post updates as available.