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He Wants To nNow Why I'm Mad At Him
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 532353" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I have been in this same place Bunny (I know you know that from my posts, haha)....and I have taken the exact same route. I have also done what suzir said, just depends on the situation...</p><p></p><p>I think it is actually a natural consequence, well connected to the situation, to have you not get him what he wanted for that time. Tomorrow is a new day, but for that night, I can see taking time off. Now, if he not only said sorry but corrected the behavior and came to you asking in an appropriate way for help, being willing to wait until you could attend to him, I probably would have said thanks for fixing the problem and helped him. But it sounds like he was not in that place this time. </p><p></p><p>There are times when I suggest what can be done to fix it (and I also say what you say, sorry only means something if you stop--and it is not that I expect he will stop forever but sometimes he is continuing at that moment and still trying to say sorry, are you kidding me kid??? ....but that sometimes bites me back because he now says he is not going to bother to say sorry because he knows I wont accept it...then I have to explain that he needs to say sorry but also to show that he is sorry...uggg)</p><p></p><p>There are also times when he ends up cleaning his room and taking out the trash etc... with no prompts and doing extra to show me he is sorry...but also to get what he wants, but that is ok. Most people work for a paycheck and if that is what motivates him to do better that is ok for a step. The other day his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker got him to spend some of his money on a "sorry card" inside it said sorry for being mean to you. I read it and said thanks, he said you are welcome and turned around walking away calling me a bit**. nice.</p><p></p><p>I dont have the option of using a dad for back up but I am glad you do. Your response of same to you??? I found myself thinking the other day that old kid saying "I know you are but what am I??", LOL I didn't say it but I thought it. When he calls me a son of a b. I have explained that he is the son and I am the B. which was totally inappropriate but I have those moments when I am not so proud of myself and not super therapeutic....</p><p> </p><p>But anyway, just sharing that I have been in that exact same place of cooking or doing laundry or whatever while he expects me to drop everything and attend to him and I just keep doing what I am doing as thirty minutes of continuous rant goes on. For Q it is a matter of his brain needing to just settle down sometimes. If I talk it can just cause him to need to respond in any way. I can really relate to some days just doing the best you can up to a point and then saying something you might regret, but really not the end of the world. </p><p></p><p>I hope today goes better.....hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 532353, member: 12886"] I have been in this same place Bunny (I know you know that from my posts, haha)....and I have taken the exact same route. I have also done what suzir said, just depends on the situation... I think it is actually a natural consequence, well connected to the situation, to have you not get him what he wanted for that time. Tomorrow is a new day, but for that night, I can see taking time off. Now, if he not only said sorry but corrected the behavior and came to you asking in an appropriate way for help, being willing to wait until you could attend to him, I probably would have said thanks for fixing the problem and helped him. But it sounds like he was not in that place this time. There are times when I suggest what can be done to fix it (and I also say what you say, sorry only means something if you stop--and it is not that I expect he will stop forever but sometimes he is continuing at that moment and still trying to say sorry, are you kidding me kid??? ....but that sometimes bites me back because he now says he is not going to bother to say sorry because he knows I wont accept it...then I have to explain that he needs to say sorry but also to show that he is sorry...uggg) There are also times when he ends up cleaning his room and taking out the trash etc... with no prompts and doing extra to show me he is sorry...but also to get what he wants, but that is ok. Most people work for a paycheck and if that is what motivates him to do better that is ok for a step. The other day his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker got him to spend some of his money on a "sorry card" inside it said sorry for being mean to you. I read it and said thanks, he said you are welcome and turned around walking away calling me a bit**. nice. I dont have the option of using a dad for back up but I am glad you do. Your response of same to you??? I found myself thinking the other day that old kid saying "I know you are but what am I??", LOL I didn't say it but I thought it. When he calls me a son of a b. I have explained that he is the son and I am the B. which was totally inappropriate but I have those moments when I am not so proud of myself and not super therapeutic.... But anyway, just sharing that I have been in that exact same place of cooking or doing laundry or whatever while he expects me to drop everything and attend to him and I just keep doing what I am doing as thirty minutes of continuous rant goes on. For Q it is a matter of his brain needing to just settle down sometimes. If I talk it can just cause him to need to respond in any way. I can really relate to some days just doing the best you can up to a point and then saying something you might regret, but really not the end of the world. I hope today goes better.....hugs. [/QUOTE]
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