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Heading toward a nervous breakdown.. just a little one..
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 352014" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Wow - No kidding you are heading toward at the least a little nervous breakdown! O.K. take a great big deep breath through your nose (deeper than that - real deep) and let it through your mouth very slowly. Do it one or more times with your eyes close.</p><p> </p><p>I want to say to set EVERYTHING to the side and take care of yourself if even for just 15 minutes. I know how super hard that is because I am so much like the person who can not take care of myself until EVERTHING else is done. I have 12 days of vacation time that I either have to take or loose before July 1st and that stinks because I do not want to take it. If I am not at my job, it doesn't get done and then I know the stress of trying to catch up - not good. You are feeling much the same with the things you NEED to get done (I also don't work well under the pressure of a deadline).</p><p> </p><p>You are so tired. I would suggest that you do take a few hours tomorrow morning after the kids leave for school and catch up on that sleep - even if you sleep all day, you need it and you will be able to work quicker and more alert and catch up on whatever you feel you will loose in doing so. </p><p> </p><p>Make yourself a list of To-Do's - one page for each thing so you can write notes/reminders under each thing if needed.</p><p> </p><p>Looks like the chart will not work for your difficult child. It will just be another battle ground. I would suggest that you do however look at adjusting his easy child time to whatever you were going to do on the chart. Start implementing the family activities that you were going to let him "earn". In order to take away the easy child time, you do need to replace it with something. My difficult child loves to paint. We go to the craft store and purchase birdhouses and various colors of paint and he paints. (stay away from those $1 paint a craft projects - they have super small pieces and become a mess) You can also get flat wooden projects to paint.</p><p> </p><p>Do you have a pet? My husband and I were so adamant about not having a pet. We do not want that responsibility or expense. However, when my daughter asked to purchase a puppy bichon friese, the only way she could care for it was the help of difficult child. She would do the overnight potty runs and difficult child got to take care of her most of the day. I really do believe that for some kids an animal is very good medicine. The puppy gives difficult child unconditional love - never ever is angry with him. difficult child also spends time playing with the dog, taking her for walks, things that keep him from the electronic fun. </p><p> </p><p>Now is not be a good time to get a pet if you don't have one but something to keep in mind as an option to help keep difficult child away from the easy child.</p><p> </p><p>I agree that a placement may be a very good thing for the entire family at this time. As he gets older, bigger, stronger, those threats to kill combined with those rages will become increasingly more and more dangerous. You do not want your daughter living in fear and you should not either. I would be very firm with the behavior therapist and DEMAND that he give you directions on how to make your home safe. When he is in a rage, get him to an ER (or call police to transport him to an ER) so these behaviors can be documented in the terminology that doctors and psychiatric hospitals understand and will respond to. Maybe someone in the medical field will finally start listening if you start using up the ER for rages.</p><p> </p><p>I would also be tempted to actually call the therapist's office during a rage and let his staff listen to it (or maybe it would be recorded on the answer machine). Sometimes professionals don't realize the extent of these rages unless they witness them. My difficult child is awesome, very kind, very respectful to others that I get the feeling his psychiatrist doesn't really believe me when I describe some of our ugly moments of him trying to take power of the situation and "put me in my place". My daughter is much the same - very very very few people see the total disrespect that she shows to me - she is very respectful of others and knows how to behave in public so they only see her polite side and don't believe me when I tell them how nasty she can get.</p><p> </p><p>Another thing to do is to get a video camera ready and tape the rage so that you can actually show it to his doctors. It is a big responsibility for a 9 1/2 yr old girl to do but it may have to be her doing the videoing since his rages may be toward you or he will keep his attention more on you and ignore whatever his sister is doing? Only consider her IF she is a witness to these rages and you can explain to her how the videoing will help get him medical help to hopefully learn to stop.</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there - one moment at a time!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 352014, member: 5096"] Wow - No kidding you are heading toward at the least a little nervous breakdown! O.K. take a great big deep breath through your nose (deeper than that - real deep) and let it through your mouth very slowly. Do it one or more times with your eyes close. I want to say to set EVERYTHING to the side and take care of yourself if even for just 15 minutes. I know how super hard that is because I am so much like the person who can not take care of myself until EVERTHING else is done. I have 12 days of vacation time that I either have to take or loose before July 1st and that stinks because I do not want to take it. If I am not at my job, it doesn't get done and then I know the stress of trying to catch up - not good. You are feeling much the same with the things you NEED to get done (I also don't work well under the pressure of a deadline). You are so tired. I would suggest that you do take a few hours tomorrow morning after the kids leave for school and catch up on that sleep - even if you sleep all day, you need it and you will be able to work quicker and more alert and catch up on whatever you feel you will loose in doing so. Make yourself a list of To-Do's - one page for each thing so you can write notes/reminders under each thing if needed. Looks like the chart will not work for your difficult child. It will just be another battle ground. I would suggest that you do however look at adjusting his easy child time to whatever you were going to do on the chart. Start implementing the family activities that you were going to let him "earn". In order to take away the easy child time, you do need to replace it with something. My difficult child loves to paint. We go to the craft store and purchase birdhouses and various colors of paint and he paints. (stay away from those $1 paint a craft projects - they have super small pieces and become a mess) You can also get flat wooden projects to paint. Do you have a pet? My husband and I were so adamant about not having a pet. We do not want that responsibility or expense. However, when my daughter asked to purchase a puppy bichon friese, the only way she could care for it was the help of difficult child. She would do the overnight potty runs and difficult child got to take care of her most of the day. I really do believe that for some kids an animal is very good medicine. The puppy gives difficult child unconditional love - never ever is angry with him. difficult child also spends time playing with the dog, taking her for walks, things that keep him from the electronic fun. Now is not be a good time to get a pet if you don't have one but something to keep in mind as an option to help keep difficult child away from the easy child. I agree that a placement may be a very good thing for the entire family at this time. As he gets older, bigger, stronger, those threats to kill combined with those rages will become increasingly more and more dangerous. You do not want your daughter living in fear and you should not either. I would be very firm with the behavior therapist and DEMAND that he give you directions on how to make your home safe. When he is in a rage, get him to an ER (or call police to transport him to an ER) so these behaviors can be documented in the terminology that doctors and psychiatric hospitals understand and will respond to. Maybe someone in the medical field will finally start listening if you start using up the ER for rages. I would also be tempted to actually call the therapist's office during a rage and let his staff listen to it (or maybe it would be recorded on the answer machine). Sometimes professionals don't realize the extent of these rages unless they witness them. My difficult child is awesome, very kind, very respectful to others that I get the feeling his psychiatrist doesn't really believe me when I describe some of our ugly moments of him trying to take power of the situation and "put me in my place". My daughter is much the same - very very very few people see the total disrespect that she shows to me - she is very respectful of others and knows how to behave in public so they only see her polite side and don't believe me when I tell them how nasty she can get. Another thing to do is to get a video camera ready and tape the rage so that you can actually show it to his doctors. It is a big responsibility for a 9 1/2 yr old girl to do but it may have to be her doing the videoing since his rages may be toward you or he will keep his attention more on you and ignore whatever his sister is doing? Only consider her IF she is a witness to these rages and you can explain to her how the videoing will help get him medical help to hopefully learn to stop. Hang in there - one moment at a time! [/QUOTE]
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