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Heard from Gfg32 after a month of silence
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 622423" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>SS, I am sorry he is doing this. I can imagine that came like a bolt out of the blue after a month of silence. I would have been hoping against hope that silence meant progress and who knows, maybe he is doing something good, but continuing to lash out at you when things get hard. </p><p></p><p>One of the things I think is common with difficult children is they have no coping skills. Sometimes I think I would like to ask my son this: So, what are you going to do differently this time when you feel scared/sad/incompetent/thingsarehard/tired/anxious? Because having a plan for that is the key. Like it is for us. </p><p></p><p>I love that you and husband looked at each other, voiced your stress and feelings and then...just had another glass of wine. I am glad you have each other to process with and pray with and then...go on your trip together! </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yep. Their coping skills are about this level. You're mean, so there! I'm going to be mad at you. I'm going to ___________. So there! See how you like that, Mommy and Daddy. </p><p></p><p>I can see him/them stomping a little foot and red-faced. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is huge. Making our own plans, looking forward to them, and then going no matter what. This is self-care. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree with MWM. I would have a compulsion to "set him straight." If you do, sit on it for a day or two and then respond if you want to. We love them so much. It's so hard sometimes.</p><p></p><p>This book MWM posted about on another thread is really good. Straightforward. I started reading it last night after I realized I had bought it and never started it. There is a chapter about completely stopping contact. I haven't gotten to that chapter yet but I can see that as a possibility for me, if things get worse with difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I will post again in a minute the title as I don't have it right here. You and husband might want to read some of it together. It's good. </p><p></p><p>Prayers and blessings for all of you today, SS. You and husband and your difficult child. Miracles do happen! I believe that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 622423, member: 17542"] SS, I am sorry he is doing this. I can imagine that came like a bolt out of the blue after a month of silence. I would have been hoping against hope that silence meant progress and who knows, maybe he is doing something good, but continuing to lash out at you when things get hard. One of the things I think is common with difficult children is they have no coping skills. Sometimes I think I would like to ask my son this: So, what are you going to do differently this time when you feel scared/sad/incompetent/thingsarehard/tired/anxious? Because having a plan for that is the key. Like it is for us. I love that you and husband looked at each other, voiced your stress and feelings and then...just had another glass of wine. I am glad you have each other to process with and pray with and then...go on your trip together! Yep. Their coping skills are about this level. You're mean, so there! I'm going to be mad at you. I'm going to ___________. So there! See how you like that, Mommy and Daddy. I can see him/them stomping a little foot and red-faced. This is huge. Making our own plans, looking forward to them, and then going no matter what. This is self-care. I agree with MWM. I would have a compulsion to "set him straight." If you do, sit on it for a day or two and then respond if you want to. We love them so much. It's so hard sometimes. This book MWM posted about on another thread is really good. Straightforward. I started reading it last night after I realized I had bought it and never started it. There is a chapter about completely stopping contact. I haven't gotten to that chapter yet but I can see that as a possibility for me, if things get worse with difficult child. I will post again in a minute the title as I don't have it right here. You and husband might want to read some of it together. It's good. Prayers and blessings for all of you today, SS. You and husband and your difficult child. Miracles do happen! I believe that. [/QUOTE]
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Heard from Gfg32 after a month of silence
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