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Heard from Gfg32 after a month of silence
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622426" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I am sorry difficult child chose to attack instead of interacting with you as the kind, responsible adult you raised him to be...but I love it that you and husband stayed united, had that extra glass of wine, and seem to have just enough perspective to draw a deep breath.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry this is happening.</p><p></p><p>I know how it hurts, how it causes you to question where you went wrong, to question whether your son is right and whether you are responding correctly now, to wonder how this all happened.</p><p></p><p>It comforts me to learn, here on the site, that other parents, parents who raised their children differently than we raised ours, are being abused, almost word for word and action for action, as husband and I have been abused by difficult child son.</p><p></p><p>This helps me understand that it is something in my son driving this dysfunction. A woman told me yesterday that she was in a group meeting with parents and addicted kids in recovery. One of the kids was badmouthing his mom. The counselor had him stand...and demanded to know what he was on. The kid denied it, but eventually, whatever drug it was he was using, it came out.</p><p></p><p>The counselor told the parents there that the one sure way to know whether your child has truly stopped using is that former addicts deeply regret the things they said and did while using. If one of our kids is nasty, entitled, and blaming...we can be pretty sure, according to this counselor, that our difficult child is still using.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is happening to you or to me or to any of us, here. But we can learn what is real about our situations and that will give us strength to survive them without tearing ourselves apart over where we went wrong in raising our difficult child kids.</p><p></p><p>It gets to be about cold-eyed survival.</p><p></p><p>Our own.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong, Strength. </p><p></p><p>I told my husband last night that he is getting to look more and more like a hero to me, the more that I heal, the more I am able to detach.</p><p></p><p>He blushed!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622426, member: 17461"] I am sorry difficult child chose to attack instead of interacting with you as the kind, responsible adult you raised him to be...but I love it that you and husband stayed united, had that extra glass of wine, and seem to have just enough perspective to draw a deep breath. I am so sorry this is happening. I know how it hurts, how it causes you to question where you went wrong, to question whether your son is right and whether you are responding correctly now, to wonder how this all happened. It comforts me to learn, here on the site, that other parents, parents who raised their children differently than we raised ours, are being abused, almost word for word and action for action, as husband and I have been abused by difficult child son. This helps me understand that it is something in my son driving this dysfunction. A woman told me yesterday that she was in a group meeting with parents and addicted kids in recovery. One of the kids was badmouthing his mom. The counselor had him stand...and demanded to know what he was on. The kid denied it, but eventually, whatever drug it was he was using, it came out. The counselor told the parents there that the one sure way to know whether your child has truly stopped using is that former addicts deeply regret the things they said and did while using. If one of our kids is nasty, entitled, and blaming...we can be pretty sure, according to this counselor, that our difficult child is still using. I am sorry this is happening to you or to me or to any of us, here. But we can learn what is real about our situations and that will give us strength to survive them without tearing ourselves apart over where we went wrong in raising our difficult child kids. It gets to be about cold-eyed survival. Our own. Stay strong, Strength. I told my husband last night that he is getting to look more and more like a hero to me, the more that I heal, the more I am able to detach. He blushed! :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Heard from Gfg32 after a month of silence
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