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Heartbroken Honesty
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 484081" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>Hey, I'm new around here, too. I'm sorry you have to deal with people (especially your own family) that "don't get it." I know, as a grandparent myself, that it's a process to get from "the kid is a brat, so take away privileges and try sticker charts" to "uh oh, s/he is doing the best they can and it's not quite working out. We'd better find out what's wrong. What can I do to help?" (Just a caveat here: I never spanked my own kids and raised very respectful, non-toxic children. </p><p></p><p>My daughter's dad (my ex of 32 years, but lives around the corner) just doesn't get it, and seems to refuse to even try. We've given him The Explosive Child, Lost at School, What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. He's pretty much removed himself from my grandson's life except for weekly visits at a restaurant with one of the parents present. It's so sad because they are missing out on the gift of who these little people are, in all of their complicated glory (almost typed "gory," Freudian slip?) As with my parents, who put me in foster care, I had to come around to the fact that they were doing their best, and just let it go. We can't let our expectations of others get in our heads and make us sad/mad, whatever. Okay, off my soapbox.</p><p></p><p>I'm following this thread because I don't think my grandson is diagnosed correctly, either, so I feel like a fellow traveler. My signature kind of gives synopsis. </p><p></p><p>I hope you have a good day today, or at least find some little thing in which to feel joy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 484081, member: 13260"] Hey, I'm new around here, too. I'm sorry you have to deal with people (especially your own family) that "don't get it." I know, as a grandparent myself, that it's a process to get from "the kid is a brat, so take away privileges and try sticker charts" to "uh oh, s/he is doing the best they can and it's not quite working out. We'd better find out what's wrong. What can I do to help?" (Just a caveat here: I never spanked my own kids and raised very respectful, non-toxic children. My daughter's dad (my ex of 32 years, but lives around the corner) just doesn't get it, and seems to refuse to even try. We've given him The Explosive Child, Lost at School, What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. He's pretty much removed himself from my grandson's life except for weekly visits at a restaurant with one of the parents present. It's so sad because they are missing out on the gift of who these little people are, in all of their complicated glory (almost typed "gory," Freudian slip?) As with my parents, who put me in foster care, I had to come around to the fact that they were doing their best, and just let it go. We can't let our expectations of others get in our heads and make us sad/mad, whatever. Okay, off my soapbox. I'm following this thread because I don't think my grandson is diagnosed correctly, either, so I feel like a fellow traveler. My signature kind of gives synopsis. I hope you have a good day today, or at least find some little thing in which to feel joy. [/QUOTE]
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