held hostage by difficult child II

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, Aug 3, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I am home, it is gorgeous out. difficult child II refuses to go anywhere sigh sorry venting

    difficult child I has been working but they keep cutting his hours, so he is also home, but up all night and sleeping all day again. sigh.....
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2008
  2. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I am seriously considering moving out, I found a place here in town for $1000 a month, it's 2 bedrooms, I would have to get a sofa bed for the living room, but it would be doable, we will see, i called and I am eaiting for a call back from the listing realtor
  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Wow, I understand the hostage feeling. Never really wanted to go too many places with difficult children as could never predict what would come with them.

  4. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    it would be fine if I had my own place, I could even leave him home alone for 15 mintues while I ran to the store, that is not "allowed" here, LOL
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's difficult when you're not in your own place. been there done that too many times. Although mother in law was never difficult to live with.

    Personally, if you feel the need to get out and enjoy the day, get your fanny outside and enjoy it. If difficult child II doesn't like it, he can lump it. He can only spoil it if you let him. And giving in to such behavior only makes it worse.

    Is there a park nearby? Maybe one with woods and a creek? Then he could have fun doing something guyish while you're out enjoying the day.

    As for myself............I've been doing MUCH needed gardening on this so far 79 degree day. Taking advantage of the weather. And guess where grandson Darrin is?? Right there pulling and digging out weeds next to Nana. :rofl: Fortunately, he's still at the age where helping is tons of fun.

    At the moment we're on a lunch break.

    Oh, and even while working hard you can have fun.......Darrin's bug container now holds tons of Holy Moly's (rolly pollies), several crickets, and a snail. :D

  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Lisa makes some good points, AOG. And as far as the 2 BR place- I hope you get it. I think it would be a great move for you. But you need a BR and those boys- that's why they make bunk beds. If they can't work it out in one room together, let them come up with a better solution. I don't think that is on you.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    AOG - I think moving out would help with many of your problems. I also agree with bunk beds. Unless older difficult child is hurting younger one. Then older must go as soon as it is legal. Make SURE you have your OWN ROOM!! YOU pay the $$$$$, YOU ARE THE MOM!!!

    Your mom wanting to go somewhere and your dad staying in bed is a problem between THEM!! I know my parents deal with-it. Each couple must find their own solutions when this happens.

    I really do think you need to move out if it is at all possible. But look at your budget first. Will you be able to keep up with the bills?

    Know we care!!!

  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Moms have rank, they are the bosses, and they get a bedroom of their very own. Get bunk beds for the boys.
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    You should be able to go out by yourself if you want to. I go out and leave difficult child 3 on his own, and he is 14. I know I can trust him to do the right thing, he knows to answer the phone and take messages and to not go out or have anyone over. If your mother won't let you, why? Especially if there is someone else around (like your dad, or your mum) then what is the problem?

    Your mother should just go out and enjoy herself on her own, if your father won't go too. Why does she have to have someone else along with her?

    And as for you - if you move out, you MUST make sure you get to choose your own room. If either of your sons objects to your having privacy and your own room, point out that it will be far more discreet that way when you bring someone home for sex. Surely, you can ask them, they don't want to risk walking in on you and any of your toyboys making out in your living room (for lack of your own room)?

    I find it's the fastest way to get compliance when i want privacy - remind them that even parents have a right to a sex life. Kids of any age don't like to hear that, they would all rather believe that they were the result of immaculate conception...

  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL Marge! I do agree with both boys can share a room. If they dont like it, one can sleep in the bathtub or on the floor in the hallway. Its not like you have a boy and a girl. We lived in two bedrooms for years and 3 of them had to triple up. Then we got three bedrooms and they thought it was great when only two had to share a room. Depending on how big the room is you can divide it down the middle....even hang a curtain.
  11. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    point out that it will be far more discreet that way when you bring someone home for sex. remind them that even parents have a right to a sex life

    LOL Marg! sadly I have accepyed that at 36 my sex life is over. I am feeling old, fat and ugly and I am old fashioned, I did not wait until I was married, but now I feel I would, and being I never will EVER get married again, well yep it looks pretty over to me

    My Dad does not like being home alone with difficult child's because when they fight very often the police need to be called, my dad has a heart condition, I have already accepted the blame that their washer and dryer both died because of us moving in, I am not going to take the rap for killing my Dad!
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    AOG, just because you're currently single and celibate doesn't mean you will be condemned to this for the rest of your life. And you certainly don't have to admit that to the kids.

    For very many totally innocent reasons, you need your privacy and personal space. But those innocent reasons may not be enough to convince your kids to let you have it without argument. Mentioning your possible need for sex is a darn good way to get them to shut up and concede the space, fast.

    I also respect the preference for not being too casual about sex. But who knows? You need to build in the faint possibility that you might be driving through Vegas one day, meet a tall, dark handsome stranger and marry him - then what will you do, if the boys have taken the only bedrooms and you sleep in the living room? Give them THAT scenario... maybe even mention that if Britney could do it...

  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I like the moving out idea. Who has custody? Would you have to make legal arrangements?
    If you can't afford it, I agree, put the boys in the same room.
    You are sandwiched between everyone else's needs and wants and you get nothing.
    You should be able to go out when you want to. I would at least take a walk around the blk.
    by the way, you are way too young to give up on your future, particularly your future with-a wonderful mate.