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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 458370" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for all your comments. Yes, Janet - but the thing is it is more than just spankings in Morocco. He was being hit with a stick. And then, above and beyond all the corporal punishment debate, it is kind of crazy-making when it is suddenly imposed on him, from someone he knows little and who is not sure really loves him. It has done their relationship real and perhaps lasting damage. Yes, great idea to use his comments about it all to underscore why hitting is not desirable...</p><p>This morning he didn't want me to go when I left him school, was clinging on to me and crying - though I'd say it had more of theatre in it than real emotion. The other kids look at him as though he is really strange when he does this... The teacher also wanted a quick word. She said she has read the book I left her before the summer (and made notes, she said <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) and suggests that we do an IQ test for J before we meet up with the child psychiatrist. She says she remains sceptical about the ADHD diagnosis as she doesn't recognise him from many of the criteria laid down in the book... While also saying he was quite difficult to manage at times and that she had to be "after him" all the time yesterday to get him to do things. All this just strengthens my belief that conventional school is not going to be the best option for J and that the more he goes on in the system, the more reluctant he is going to be and the harder work for the teachers... He needs to be interested and stimulated to learn and to concentrate. I am investigating alternative schools (which will involve a move) from autumn 2012. </p><p>Feel like I'm getting back into the saddle with him. He is so sensitive to criticism and being talked to negatively - always has a disastrous effect. It's as if I have to find the right tone and language with him all the time. If I do this, he will be good-humoured and co-operative. If not...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 458370, member: 11227"] Thanks for all your comments. Yes, Janet - but the thing is it is more than just spankings in Morocco. He was being hit with a stick. And then, above and beyond all the corporal punishment debate, it is kind of crazy-making when it is suddenly imposed on him, from someone he knows little and who is not sure really loves him. It has done their relationship real and perhaps lasting damage. Yes, great idea to use his comments about it all to underscore why hitting is not desirable... This morning he didn't want me to go when I left him school, was clinging on to me and crying - though I'd say it had more of theatre in it than real emotion. The other kids look at him as though he is really strange when he does this... The teacher also wanted a quick word. She said she has read the book I left her before the summer (and made notes, she said :) ) and suggests that we do an IQ test for J before we meet up with the child psychiatrist. She says she remains sceptical about the ADHD diagnosis as she doesn't recognise him from many of the criteria laid down in the book... While also saying he was quite difficult to manage at times and that she had to be "after him" all the time yesterday to get him to do things. All this just strengthens my belief that conventional school is not going to be the best option for J and that the more he goes on in the system, the more reluctant he is going to be and the harder work for the teachers... He needs to be interested and stimulated to learn and to concentrate. I am investigating alternative schools (which will involve a move) from autumn 2012. Feel like I'm getting back into the saddle with him. He is so sensitive to criticism and being talked to negatively - always has a disastrous effect. It's as if I have to find the right tone and language with him all the time. If I do this, he will be good-humoured and co-operative. If not... [/QUOTE]
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