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Hello from australia - intro
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<blockquote data-quote="therese005us" data-source="post: 275805" data-attributes="member: 7416"><p>Thanks everyone for your replies. It's 4.00am and I just couldn't sleep anymore!! We're hoping to get out today and do a little shopping and some special activities for Saturdays. DD11 has a flute lesson at 7.30am, so that means trying to get out by 6.30am allowing extra time for getting bogged. </p><p>I didn't expect a miracle solution, I just needed to vent my frustrations. I truly love this DD8 and i know the Mum does too. She unfortunately, has two generations of bad parenting examples to overcome AND a special needs (possibly 2) child to cope with. I don't know what all she does with her money, it's none of my business, but time and again she calls and says she doesn't have the $5 for the prescription for DD8; or food; etc. After the weekend, it is not unusual for her to hand me a bag of soiled underwear, that HAS NOT been rinsed out. Yes, I keep clothes here for her,and I'm grateful to friends for supplying bits and pieces to keep her clothed in dignity. We bought her clothes too, because her underwear is so soiled it's gross. She was so happy! I'm no hero, but I do feel that the dignity of the child and raising her self esteem will go a long way to helping her recover. It's going to be a long road of two steps forward and many backwards, but i'm here for the long haul.</p><p>Mum uses my place as a punishment, so I have that to deal with each time she returns. </p><p>I discovered how much she loves the bath last night (her second time) so now I know what to do for a special treat once in a while. Although I am reluctant to use it this way, bribing is par for the course at home. I will have to think of a way to phrase it... it will maybe just be, "ah, we've had such a good week, how about a special bubble bath?" rather than if you... then you can... </p><p>The mum has been offered countless supports, and still has... but she uses the system. For example, spends all the money and then asks for taxi vouchers to meet me to collect the child.... or get pull up nappies etc. The other day she was given parking money for me to park my car, after I had driven clear across town for the appointment, and then she offered me HALF of that amount towards the parking!! She generally does the 'courses' for positive parenting, to get marked off, but tells me she knew it all anyway and it doesn't work. It does sound like I am berating the bio mum; but I also have an understanding of how dysfunctional this family is,and I can hardly see a clear way for it to improve. Another example, bio mum's mother was 13 whens he had her first child... what hope does this poor lady have of a good example of parenting? All around her, her sisters are in similar situations. I really feel sorry for her. She does try so hard to do the right things for her children..</p><p>Well, I had better get the porridge cooking and pack the bags for the day. The little cherub gets to do a dance class today which she loves. She didn't get to go home because of the rain, so we'll make it a fun weekend. Next weekend she goes home 'for good' though her mother told her she has to come back if it doesn't work at home. I just tell her she comes here to get her tummy better... if only it were that easy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="therese005us, post: 275805, member: 7416"] Thanks everyone for your replies. It's 4.00am and I just couldn't sleep anymore!! We're hoping to get out today and do a little shopping and some special activities for Saturdays. DD11 has a flute lesson at 7.30am, so that means trying to get out by 6.30am allowing extra time for getting bogged. I didn't expect a miracle solution, I just needed to vent my frustrations. I truly love this DD8 and i know the Mum does too. She unfortunately, has two generations of bad parenting examples to overcome AND a special needs (possibly 2) child to cope with. I don't know what all she does with her money, it's none of my business, but time and again she calls and says she doesn't have the $5 for the prescription for DD8; or food; etc. After the weekend, it is not unusual for her to hand me a bag of soiled underwear, that HAS NOT been rinsed out. Yes, I keep clothes here for her,and I'm grateful to friends for supplying bits and pieces to keep her clothed in dignity. We bought her clothes too, because her underwear is so soiled it's gross. She was so happy! I'm no hero, but I do feel that the dignity of the child and raising her self esteem will go a long way to helping her recover. It's going to be a long road of two steps forward and many backwards, but i'm here for the long haul. Mum uses my place as a punishment, so I have that to deal with each time she returns. I discovered how much she loves the bath last night (her second time) so now I know what to do for a special treat once in a while. Although I am reluctant to use it this way, bribing is par for the course at home. I will have to think of a way to phrase it... it will maybe just be, "ah, we've had such a good week, how about a special bubble bath?" rather than if you... then you can... The mum has been offered countless supports, and still has... but she uses the system. For example, spends all the money and then asks for taxi vouchers to meet me to collect the child.... or get pull up nappies etc. The other day she was given parking money for me to park my car, after I had driven clear across town for the appointment, and then she offered me HALF of that amount towards the parking!! She generally does the 'courses' for positive parenting, to get marked off, but tells me she knew it all anyway and it doesn't work. It does sound like I am berating the bio mum; but I also have an understanding of how dysfunctional this family is,and I can hardly see a clear way for it to improve. Another example, bio mum's mother was 13 whens he had her first child... what hope does this poor lady have of a good example of parenting? All around her, her sisters are in similar situations. I really feel sorry for her. She does try so hard to do the right things for her children.. Well, I had better get the porridge cooking and pack the bags for the day. The little cherub gets to do a dance class today which she loves. She didn't get to go home because of the rain, so we'll make it a fun weekend. Next weekend she goes home 'for good' though her mother told her she has to come back if it doesn't work at home. I just tell her she comes here to get her tummy better... if only it were that easy. [/QUOTE]
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