Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Hello..I am new and pretty awful on the computer
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 542557" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well...this isn't very nice, I guess...but our lives went back to normal after he left and I don't think any one of us ever wanted him back. He was a horrible boy, obviously a product of his upbringing, but that didn't make choking two dogs to death any better...or having sex with my six year old daughter and my eight year old son (at knifepoint). Nor did it make us feel warm and fuzzy when we learned he had silenced them by threatening to burn down the house if they told us anything, along with his showing them that he WOULD do it when he used a lighter to burn little pieces of his carpet. </p><p></p><p>R. had a home life similar to your nephews. His birthmother had abused drugs and alcohol. She neglected him and only fed him water to the point w here he had a seizure and was removed from her care. Then he was bounced around from home to home. He had actually been in five foster homes before he came to us...we were looking to adopt a child who would have a hard time getting adopted, and due to his age, sex, and race he fit the bill. We already had adopted two other minority children so we figured he'd fit right in and his pre-adoptive profile made him sound like an angel. His foster mother of five years loved him....he used to help her all the time, especially with her daycare kids (I'll bet he loved helping her with those kids!). </p><p></p><p>So with that as his background, but with no reported behavioral problems we brought him into our family, loved him, and had no idea the havoc he was wreaking in the background. If we had kept him in our house after we finally found out the ugly truth, the other kids would have been destroyed. We would have had to monitor him like our home was a detention center. And we'd never have been able to have enjoyed the animals that we love so much. I would not be surprised if I turned on the news one day and saw that he killed somebody. </p><p></p><p>Although antisocial personality disorder is not diagnosed until 18, this child had it already by age 11. He had no conscience and no feelings for any living thing. He could fake it well, but all he wanted was the material items we could give him. That's when we'd get big hugs. When he was taken away he got a diagnosis of SEVERE REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER which has similar symptoms, at the worst end of the spectrum, of an adult without any conscious or ability to truly love. In fact, love scared him.</p><p></p><p>He was actually arrested because he had perped on my daughter, who was six years younger than him. That's the cut off. He was found guilty of sexual assault of a minor and is supposed to sign up as a sexual predator his entire life. We have followed his career online and he was already pulled into court once for not signing up. The scary thing is, he is not signed up now and nobody knows it. He is married now with two baby girls and it gives me the creeps just thinking about it (he has a Facebook). But we are afraid to tell the authorities that he is supposed to sign up as a predator and that we are afraid for his daughters because we think he may suspect us and we don't want him coming after us. He only lives a few hours away and we don't want to remind him of us. </p><p></p><p>So, um, the answer is we were VERY relieved when he left. And I often post my story to remind people that not all kids can be saved. Some are so damaged before they are even in kindergarten that they are actually a danger to others. R. admitted, without much emotion, that he had been sexually acting out on children since he'd been at least five. He did not know why he did it and had no memory of being sexually abused himself, although it had obviously happened. He tried to perp while he was in a children's home for children who sexually perp, allegedly getting help. Some of the residents were afraid of him and he was caught on camera doing stuff to some of the boys.</p><p></p><p>So what do I think after all this? Obviously, you have no idea how badly he was abused. He was probably sexually abused along his horrible path...I was told 90% of the foster children in the system suffered sexual abuse. Abusers can abuse. The cycle often repeats.</p><p></p><p>Especially if there are other children in the house, I would not keep a dangerous child in my family. Maybe he would do better in a childless/animal free home...I can't say. Or maybe you can help him. I don't know that either. But I'd be VERY careful with 2, and I'd keep letting 2 sleep with you. And I sure wouldn't have any more babies with him around. (((Hugs again)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 542557, member: 1550"] Well...this isn't very nice, I guess...but our lives went back to normal after he left and I don't think any one of us ever wanted him back. He was a horrible boy, obviously a product of his upbringing, but that didn't make choking two dogs to death any better...or having sex with my six year old daughter and my eight year old son (at knifepoint). Nor did it make us feel warm and fuzzy when we learned he had silenced them by threatening to burn down the house if they told us anything, along with his showing them that he WOULD do it when he used a lighter to burn little pieces of his carpet. R. had a home life similar to your nephews. His birthmother had abused drugs and alcohol. She neglected him and only fed him water to the point w here he had a seizure and was removed from her care. Then he was bounced around from home to home. He had actually been in five foster homes before he came to us...we were looking to adopt a child who would have a hard time getting adopted, and due to his age, sex, and race he fit the bill. We already had adopted two other minority children so we figured he'd fit right in and his pre-adoptive profile made him sound like an angel. His foster mother of five years loved him....he used to help her all the time, especially with her daycare kids (I'll bet he loved helping her with those kids!). So with that as his background, but with no reported behavioral problems we brought him into our family, loved him, and had no idea the havoc he was wreaking in the background. If we had kept him in our house after we finally found out the ugly truth, the other kids would have been destroyed. We would have had to monitor him like our home was a detention center. And we'd never have been able to have enjoyed the animals that we love so much. I would not be surprised if I turned on the news one day and saw that he killed somebody. Although antisocial personality disorder is not diagnosed until 18, this child had it already by age 11. He had no conscience and no feelings for any living thing. He could fake it well, but all he wanted was the material items we could give him. That's when we'd get big hugs. When he was taken away he got a diagnosis of SEVERE REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER which has similar symptoms, at the worst end of the spectrum, of an adult without any conscious or ability to truly love. In fact, love scared him. He was actually arrested because he had perped on my daughter, who was six years younger than him. That's the cut off. He was found guilty of sexual assault of a minor and is supposed to sign up as a sexual predator his entire life. We have followed his career online and he was already pulled into court once for not signing up. The scary thing is, he is not signed up now and nobody knows it. He is married now with two baby girls and it gives me the creeps just thinking about it (he has a Facebook). But we are afraid to tell the authorities that he is supposed to sign up as a predator and that we are afraid for his daughters because we think he may suspect us and we don't want him coming after us. He only lives a few hours away and we don't want to remind him of us. So, um, the answer is we were VERY relieved when he left. And I often post my story to remind people that not all kids can be saved. Some are so damaged before they are even in kindergarten that they are actually a danger to others. R. admitted, without much emotion, that he had been sexually acting out on children since he'd been at least five. He did not know why he did it and had no memory of being sexually abused himself, although it had obviously happened. He tried to perp while he was in a children's home for children who sexually perp, allegedly getting help. Some of the residents were afraid of him and he was caught on camera doing stuff to some of the boys. So what do I think after all this? Obviously, you have no idea how badly he was abused. He was probably sexually abused along his horrible path...I was told 90% of the foster children in the system suffered sexual abuse. Abusers can abuse. The cycle often repeats. Especially if there are other children in the house, I would not keep a dangerous child in my family. Maybe he would do better in a childless/animal free home...I can't say. Or maybe you can help him. I don't know that either. But I'd be VERY careful with 2, and I'd keep letting 2 sleep with you. And I sure wouldn't have any more babies with him around. (((Hugs again))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Hello..I am new and pretty awful on the computer
Top