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Hello ladies! (LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="Alttlgabby" data-source="post: 345041" data-attributes="member: 6786"><p>Marg, </p><p>Thanks. I know where you are coming from. I am not using the belt any longer.. it doesn't do anything obviously. She and I had a long talk yesterday and she said she takes things because her "friends" might need something. Well, of course, *I* don't understand that because she essentially has no friends. When she claims she gets things from her "friends" you ask her for a name and she cannot produce it and claims to have so many that she can't remember their names. I have tried explaining and having her look at the definiton of friend from the dictionary that these people are not her "friends" if she doesn't talk to them all the time and she doesn't even know their names. </p><p>History on this kid: She was born December 24th, due in March sometime. Mom claimed all the time she was 3 months premature (can't count obviously). I cannot get medical records I do not think because of the fact that they are over 10 years old and the hospital claims they most likely no longer have them. Only thing I know is that she was on oxygen, apnia monitor, and she had a spinal tap done. She came home on the oxygen and apnia monitor until the age of 1. She did not walk until well after the age of 1-1/2 (on tippy toes too,..autism?) and she walks on her feet now, but she rubs her shoes right under the big toe, so still "toes". She didn't speak until after age 2 and didn't create sentences until after age 3. In an initial session for intervention at age 3, the ONLY sentence she spoke the entire time was "I want that" when it was time to leave and she saw a piece of candy. She only said things like Bye-Bye, Hi, etc.. simple words. She was mostly expressionless every time I saw her. Mouth downturned. She didn't try to get people to pick her up. Wave, babble, etc.. she just sat there, even if her 7 month old sister was in the same porta crib. I don't remember her playing with toys. I also remember her sleeping a lot. This is what *I* know and remember from the time they lived with us in 1997, and what I have documentation on. She lived with both parents until age 5/6...and with my Mom and Stepfather. She lived with her parents in my parents home for approximately 3-4 years and she was fed there and she was given love, etc... at least by my parents. My mother cannot remember any food issues there, but she certainly has them now. At age 5, her mother left with another man. I don't think she saw them often at all for about 6 months.. and I know for a fact that she was gone to Missouri between Dec. 2001 and July 2002. In February 2002, my brother was forced out my mothers house after being abusive verbally to my mother. My stepfather had died in January 2002. In March 2002, my brother abandoned the girls and their older brother and sister to people that the kids were going to church with and knew. Just dropped them off and never returned for them. These people had the kids for 3 months, in which time, I found out where they were and drove every 2 weeks to see them so that they weren't abandoned by everyone in their lives (I lived 8 hours away). I was there and signed J's IEP for school and that was when I wrestled with what to do. My initial thought was to try to walk into the Texas courts and ask for emergency guardianship of them. Instead, I went home and called their grandmother in Arizona trying to find out where the heck their mother was! (MY BIGGEST mistake!) Mom came and got them and took them back to Missouri. I was able to call them for the first month and after that, she disappeared with them and I had not seen them until 7 years later when CPS from Nebraska called me. They were only in Foster Care there for 7 months. In the last few days, the foster parents also told me that she seemed to have a fascination with taking paper clips. If they would go somewhere, she would also ask people she didn't know for what they had, even if it was something "stupid". Yet, she doesn't ask her own family members (tells me that she has trouble in the relationship area). This is what I have seen here as well. She has absolutely no problem asking a total stranger for money or whatever it is she wants at the time..popcorn at the basketball game, money to get in and money for candy. She comes home all the time with stuff from school and claims that "someone" just GAVE it to her and I do not believe that is the case. I am almost 100% sure that she has asked them for it. I learned yesterday that she had fruit bites in her pencil case. LOL I also learned the other day from her teacher that J is always trying to tell her classmates about her past and her teacher has to redirect the class all the time due to this, and I learned last night that apparently the other day she just yelled out in class that she had been sexually molested! I talked to my stepmom the other day because I remembered a time when my brother was young and had to be tested for something. They brought him home and he had these white circles in his hair from where they were testing his brain. Well, apparently, my brother (her father) was diagnosed with schizophrenia! Oh JOY! And, from what I am reading, it can be a genetic thing. OH JOY again! And from what I am reading.. OH JOY! We just might be on to something there as well. Wonderful! When she first came to live with us, she HONESTLY believed that Chucky the doll and other dolls could come to life and kill people. This is at the age of 12. She claims that she sometimes talks to things or people that aren't there (just imaginary stuff?). She doesn't claim to have hallucinations. Oh, as for the stealing, she has been doing it since she was very small. My Mom said that anytime anything disappeared, all she had to do was go look in the bedroom where J was at and there it would be. So this has been going on for YEARS, so it can't be just the "friend" thing that she speaks about. As for the lying, it isn't just about the stealing or drawing; it is about EVERYTHING! You can ask her a question and automatically it is a lie coming out, but you know when it is because of the look on her face. You can be standing there watching her get ready in the bathroom and she will forget to wash her face. You will ask her if she washed her face and automatically it will be YES, even with her knowing that you were standing right there watching her and knowing full well she didn't! It is almost as though she believes her own "reality" as she creates it. Just as she wrote in her journal (this is her assignment every night) that she did her classwork, homework, journaling, reading, and how she didn't lie or draw in class that day, yet she got caught! It is almost like she is trying to convince herself that it is a reality..or that she truly believes she did all those things. We have so many issues that can go so many ways in a diagnosis with things. I had read up on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) when I first came to this board, but all the traits didn't seem to fit her, however, someone had posted something about SAD, which is very similar and those traits did fit her. I have always thought that she had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) no matter how much she does or does not fit that criteria. I have also thought possibly something on the autistic spectrum. She doesn't hug like other kids do. She just puts her arm around your shoulder and kind of leans in from the side and it doesn't feel genuine. It is almost like she is going through the motion, no emotion, no expression. When I get hugs from her sister, you know it is a hug. She wraps both her arms around you and squeezes, and she gives a peck on the cheek and you can see the expression on her face that she is being genuine. I KNOW that J is impulsive. That one is a given, but if redirected right then she gets back to whatever in the proper manner. She does have something in the way of facial features for Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE).. her pediatrician here noticed it right off when I told her I wanted a consult for it and that is why she was willing to give it. She is getting us sent to San Diego rather than waiting here because it is a year long wait here! Trying to think of whatever other info I can give. She is just a puzzle waiting for the pieces to be put back in place. I just cannot wait for the trip to San Diego!!!! </p><p>Again, thanks..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Alttlgabby, post: 345041, member: 6786"] Marg, Thanks. I know where you are coming from. I am not using the belt any longer.. it doesn't do anything obviously. She and I had a long talk yesterday and she said she takes things because her "friends" might need something. Well, of course, *I* don't understand that because she essentially has no friends. When she claims she gets things from her "friends" you ask her for a name and she cannot produce it and claims to have so many that she can't remember their names. I have tried explaining and having her look at the definiton of friend from the dictionary that these people are not her "friends" if she doesn't talk to them all the time and she doesn't even know their names. History on this kid: She was born December 24th, due in March sometime. Mom claimed all the time she was 3 months premature (can't count obviously). I cannot get medical records I do not think because of the fact that they are over 10 years old and the hospital claims they most likely no longer have them. Only thing I know is that she was on oxygen, apnia monitor, and she had a spinal tap done. She came home on the oxygen and apnia monitor until the age of 1. She did not walk until well after the age of 1-1/2 (on tippy toes too,..autism?) and she walks on her feet now, but she rubs her shoes right under the big toe, so still "toes". She didn't speak until after age 2 and didn't create sentences until after age 3. In an initial session for intervention at age 3, the ONLY sentence she spoke the entire time was "I want that" when it was time to leave and she saw a piece of candy. She only said things like Bye-Bye, Hi, etc.. simple words. She was mostly expressionless every time I saw her. Mouth downturned. She didn't try to get people to pick her up. Wave, babble, etc.. she just sat there, even if her 7 month old sister was in the same porta crib. I don't remember her playing with toys. I also remember her sleeping a lot. This is what *I* know and remember from the time they lived with us in 1997, and what I have documentation on. She lived with both parents until age 5/6...and with my Mom and Stepfather. She lived with her parents in my parents home for approximately 3-4 years and she was fed there and she was given love, etc... at least by my parents. My mother cannot remember any food issues there, but she certainly has them now. At age 5, her mother left with another man. I don't think she saw them often at all for about 6 months.. and I know for a fact that she was gone to Missouri between Dec. 2001 and July 2002. In February 2002, my brother was forced out my mothers house after being abusive verbally to my mother. My stepfather had died in January 2002. In March 2002, my brother abandoned the girls and their older brother and sister to people that the kids were going to church with and knew. Just dropped them off and never returned for them. These people had the kids for 3 months, in which time, I found out where they were and drove every 2 weeks to see them so that they weren't abandoned by everyone in their lives (I lived 8 hours away). I was there and signed J's IEP for school and that was when I wrestled with what to do. My initial thought was to try to walk into the Texas courts and ask for emergency guardianship of them. Instead, I went home and called their grandmother in Arizona trying to find out where the heck their mother was! (MY BIGGEST mistake!) Mom came and got them and took them back to Missouri. I was able to call them for the first month and after that, she disappeared with them and I had not seen them until 7 years later when CPS from Nebraska called me. They were only in Foster Care there for 7 months. In the last few days, the foster parents also told me that she seemed to have a fascination with taking paper clips. If they would go somewhere, she would also ask people she didn't know for what they had, even if it was something "stupid". Yet, she doesn't ask her own family members (tells me that she has trouble in the relationship area). This is what I have seen here as well. She has absolutely no problem asking a total stranger for money or whatever it is she wants at the time..popcorn at the basketball game, money to get in and money for candy. She comes home all the time with stuff from school and claims that "someone" just GAVE it to her and I do not believe that is the case. I am almost 100% sure that she has asked them for it. I learned yesterday that she had fruit bites in her pencil case. LOL I also learned the other day from her teacher that J is always trying to tell her classmates about her past and her teacher has to redirect the class all the time due to this, and I learned last night that apparently the other day she just yelled out in class that she had been sexually molested! I talked to my stepmom the other day because I remembered a time when my brother was young and had to be tested for something. They brought him home and he had these white circles in his hair from where they were testing his brain. Well, apparently, my brother (her father) was diagnosed with schizophrenia! Oh JOY! And, from what I am reading, it can be a genetic thing. OH JOY again! And from what I am reading.. OH JOY! We just might be on to something there as well. Wonderful! When she first came to live with us, she HONESTLY believed that Chucky the doll and other dolls could come to life and kill people. This is at the age of 12. She claims that she sometimes talks to things or people that aren't there (just imaginary stuff?). She doesn't claim to have hallucinations. Oh, as for the stealing, she has been doing it since she was very small. My Mom said that anytime anything disappeared, all she had to do was go look in the bedroom where J was at and there it would be. So this has been going on for YEARS, so it can't be just the "friend" thing that she speaks about. As for the lying, it isn't just about the stealing or drawing; it is about EVERYTHING! You can ask her a question and automatically it is a lie coming out, but you know when it is because of the look on her face. You can be standing there watching her get ready in the bathroom and she will forget to wash her face. You will ask her if she washed her face and automatically it will be YES, even with her knowing that you were standing right there watching her and knowing full well she didn't! It is almost as though she believes her own "reality" as she creates it. Just as she wrote in her journal (this is her assignment every night) that she did her classwork, homework, journaling, reading, and how she didn't lie or draw in class that day, yet she got caught! It is almost like she is trying to convince herself that it is a reality..or that she truly believes she did all those things. We have so many issues that can go so many ways in a diagnosis with things. I had read up on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) when I first came to this board, but all the traits didn't seem to fit her, however, someone had posted something about SAD, which is very similar and those traits did fit her. I have always thought that she had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) no matter how much she does or does not fit that criteria. I have also thought possibly something on the autistic spectrum. She doesn't hug like other kids do. She just puts her arm around your shoulder and kind of leans in from the side and it doesn't feel genuine. It is almost like she is going through the motion, no emotion, no expression. When I get hugs from her sister, you know it is a hug. She wraps both her arms around you and squeezes, and she gives a peck on the cheek and you can see the expression on her face that she is being genuine. I KNOW that J is impulsive. That one is a given, but if redirected right then she gets back to whatever in the proper manner. She does have something in the way of facial features for Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE).. her pediatrician here noticed it right off when I told her I wanted a consult for it and that is why she was willing to give it. She is getting us sent to San Diego rather than waiting here because it is a year long wait here! Trying to think of whatever other info I can give. She is just a puzzle waiting for the pieces to be put back in place. I just cannot wait for the trip to San Diego!!!! Again, thanks.. [/QUOTE]
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