Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Hello ladies! (LONG)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 345122" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You would need to get it formally evaluated, but everything you describe would fit with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in some form.</p><p></p><p>Believing that Chucky was real for example - we had similar issues with difficult child 3 and really didn't understand properly for ages, just how much we were traumatising him by making him watch movies when to his mind, they were the same as documentaries. For example - we took him to "Mars Attacks!" and the poor kid thought that cities really were being destroyed, people really were being obliterated by ray guns, that a lady's head was transplanted onto her dog - and so forth. After the movie finished (and the poor kid was doing his best to 'fit in' and accept our apparent callous acceptance of other people's suffering, in making the film) he asked us, "Were they able to fix up those people? And those ones that got burned to nothing - how could they make them alive again?"</p><p></p><p>That was when we realised - he simply didn't understand about 'movie magic'. It too a lot of intensive effort to teach him, and it wasn't until he was in a feature film himself (and THAT was initially a scary thing, he was at times afraid of what they might do to him) that he was able to work out the difference between the actors standing there saying their lines (over and over, in his case) and what the audience eventually sees. We showed him lots of "making of" stuff on DVDs and it finally did help. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is a smart kid, but in social areas he just doesn't get it.</p><p></p><p>Now, something you said about your daughter and her "friends" - have you had her checked out for face blindness? That could be why she can't tell you who her friends are. She is also ripe for exploitation by unscrupulous kids who know they can get her to steal stuff for them, she could be trying to buy popularity because other kids tell her it's how you do such things.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form, it could explain a great deal but it also means she needs a very different way of handling. Some battles, you will probably never have to fight with her. Others, will be a headache years after you would think she could manage certain things.</p><p></p><p>Girls do express Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in different ways, so in some areas she may seem more capable and "normal", and in others will seem very backward. The best thing you can do is accept her at face value, be vigilant in the areas where you know she is not up to age equivalent, and support her to learn the right way. Support and encourage, rather than punish. At times her behaviour towards you will seem inappropriate and insolent - in fact, it is not what you think. These kids simply can't understand the social gap between adults and children, it is too difficult a concept. They will treat other people the same way those people treat them (because they are great imitators). In this way, a teacher who used to use sarcasm a lot, to try and belittle the kids and bully them into compliance, got sarcasm and "rudeness" from difficult child 3 - he was simply talking to her, the same way she talked to him. He might say to her, "But I handed my homework in, it is right there on your desk. What's the matter - are you blind? If it had teeth it would have bitten you."</p><p>Of course, this would not go down too well, but he was giving back to her, the same language she used on him. And he did not understand when he was punished for it, when she had shown him the way.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter's drawing sounds like a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (which is also a common part of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)). There can be so many issues, but they are manageable. And if you and she can understand what is going on that makes her do these things, it could make it easier for her to learn to manage herself.</p><p></p><p>Something we were taught very early on with difficult child 1 - keep the kids in the loop re their diagnosis and treatment. Also, make sure they accept this is simply a part of who they are, and that it's not merely a matter of trying to change them into "normal", but helping them accept that this is part of who and what they are, and needs to be embraced and managed. It brings gifts as well as difficulties, and those gifts are worth concentrating on.</p><p></p><p>One important gift - believe it or not, is honesty. However, they expect that same honesty from others around them and can't understand or accept dishonesty or unfairness. Her stealing - somehow it is part of her need for fairness and there is something underlying this, somehow she is able to justify this. So either someone is putting her up to it, or in her mind the stuff is justifiably up for grabs somehow. As for stuff taken away from her, in her mind it shouldn't have been taken away and it's hers so she must get it back. She needs to be taught so SHE really understands, just where the boundaries are and who sets the rules, and who does not. I'm thinking she's probably getting conflicting information on this.</p><p></p><p>But do check out face blindness, also known as prosopagnosia. Look it up on Google, I think you should be able to find an informal online test so you can find out if she has any degree of face blindness. Clearly it's not total (because she recognises you) but partial face blindness can cause a lot of problems without people realising it's an issue. easy child 2/difficult child 2 didn't realise she was partially face blind until she had finished high school and was in the workforce. She was about 19 at the time. And she had already developed her own technique to cope (sort of). She just thought she wasn't as bright as people thought she was. Now she knows better.</p><p></p><p>Also, to informally assess for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), go to <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a> and look for their Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. You can print the results (even if she scores as normal) and take them to a doctor for their opinion. It lets the doctor know the sort of issues that are concerning you.</p><p></p><p>It's interesting you describe your girl as your butterfly - that's how we describe easy child 2/difficult child 2! She's very bright in so many ways, but sometimes very blonde!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 345122, member: 1991"] You would need to get it formally evaluated, but everything you describe would fit with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in some form. Believing that Chucky was real for example - we had similar issues with difficult child 3 and really didn't understand properly for ages, just how much we were traumatising him by making him watch movies when to his mind, they were the same as documentaries. For example - we took him to "Mars Attacks!" and the poor kid thought that cities really were being destroyed, people really were being obliterated by ray guns, that a lady's head was transplanted onto her dog - and so forth. After the movie finished (and the poor kid was doing his best to 'fit in' and accept our apparent callous acceptance of other people's suffering, in making the film) he asked us, "Were they able to fix up those people? And those ones that got burned to nothing - how could they make them alive again?" That was when we realised - he simply didn't understand about 'movie magic'. It too a lot of intensive effort to teach him, and it wasn't until he was in a feature film himself (and THAT was initially a scary thing, he was at times afraid of what they might do to him) that he was able to work out the difference between the actors standing there saying their lines (over and over, in his case) and what the audience eventually sees. We showed him lots of "making of" stuff on DVDs and it finally did help. difficult child 3 is a smart kid, but in social areas he just doesn't get it. Now, something you said about your daughter and her "friends" - have you had her checked out for face blindness? That could be why she can't tell you who her friends are. She is also ripe for exploitation by unscrupulous kids who know they can get her to steal stuff for them, she could be trying to buy popularity because other kids tell her it's how you do such things. If your daughter has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form, it could explain a great deal but it also means she needs a very different way of handling. Some battles, you will probably never have to fight with her. Others, will be a headache years after you would think she could manage certain things. Girls do express Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in different ways, so in some areas she may seem more capable and "normal", and in others will seem very backward. The best thing you can do is accept her at face value, be vigilant in the areas where you know she is not up to age equivalent, and support her to learn the right way. Support and encourage, rather than punish. At times her behaviour towards you will seem inappropriate and insolent - in fact, it is not what you think. These kids simply can't understand the social gap between adults and children, it is too difficult a concept. They will treat other people the same way those people treat them (because they are great imitators). In this way, a teacher who used to use sarcasm a lot, to try and belittle the kids and bully them into compliance, got sarcasm and "rudeness" from difficult child 3 - he was simply talking to her, the same way she talked to him. He might say to her, "But I handed my homework in, it is right there on your desk. What's the matter - are you blind? If it had teeth it would have bitten you." Of course, this would not go down too well, but he was giving back to her, the same language she used on him. And he did not understand when he was punished for it, when she had shown him the way. Your daughter's drawing sounds like a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (which is also a common part of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)). There can be so many issues, but they are manageable. And if you and she can understand what is going on that makes her do these things, it could make it easier for her to learn to manage herself. Something we were taught very early on with difficult child 1 - keep the kids in the loop re their diagnosis and treatment. Also, make sure they accept this is simply a part of who they are, and that it's not merely a matter of trying to change them into "normal", but helping them accept that this is part of who and what they are, and needs to be embraced and managed. It brings gifts as well as difficulties, and those gifts are worth concentrating on. One important gift - believe it or not, is honesty. However, they expect that same honesty from others around them and can't understand or accept dishonesty or unfairness. Her stealing - somehow it is part of her need for fairness and there is something underlying this, somehow she is able to justify this. So either someone is putting her up to it, or in her mind the stuff is justifiably up for grabs somehow. As for stuff taken away from her, in her mind it shouldn't have been taken away and it's hers so she must get it back. She needs to be taught so SHE really understands, just where the boundaries are and who sets the rules, and who does not. I'm thinking she's probably getting conflicting information on this. But do check out face blindness, also known as prosopagnosia. Look it up on Google, I think you should be able to find an informal online test so you can find out if she has any degree of face blindness. Clearly it's not total (because she recognises you) but partial face blindness can cause a lot of problems without people realising it's an issue. easy child 2/difficult child 2 didn't realise she was partially face blind until she had finished high school and was in the workforce. She was about 19 at the time. And she had already developed her own technique to cope (sort of). She just thought she wasn't as bright as people thought she was. Now she knows better. Also, to informally assess for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), go to [url]www.childbrain.com[/url] and look for their Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. You can print the results (even if she scores as normal) and take them to a doctor for their opinion. It lets the doctor know the sort of issues that are concerning you. It's interesting you describe your girl as your butterfly - that's how we describe easy child 2/difficult child 2! She's very bright in so many ways, but sometimes very blonde! Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Hello ladies! (LONG)
Top