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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 149390" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Tina, SRL has given you the same direction I would have. Sounds to me like some of my son's DNA has found its way into your son. They could be clones of each other.</p><p></p><p>My son was initially, tentatively diagnosed as Asperger's, but once properly assessed we were told firmly that he is autistic. Nobody seemed to have heard the term "hyperlexia" which I found for myself. I was posting a lot on the hyperlexia site, when problems we were having needed more and someone sent me here instead. Since then I've mentioned hyperlexia to another doctor (pediatrician) difficult child 3 was seeing, and she added it to his diagnosis in her file with no argument.</p><p></p><p>Part of the label issue - in Australia some conditions just don't get mentioned. Hyperlexia is one; childhood bipolar is another. If a parent says, "I want you to consider this," some doctors will say, "Okay, I'll look into it," and maybe the diagnosis can eventuate, but generally they won't come up with it themselves. Our doctors are a conservative lot.</p><p></p><p>You need to get him assessed, preferably by a multidisciplinary team. But in the meantime, here are some things you can do:</p><p></p><p>1) Try to set up a speech pathology assessment. This needs to be done to see if there are any elements of language delay (needed for more accurate diagnosis). Even if he is rapidly making up ground with language, it is HISTORY of language delay that is such vital information.</p><p></p><p>2) Get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There is also some discussion on this book on this forum which you should find useful. Get his teachers to check it out as well. It really helps!</p><p></p><p>3) Try to set up a Learning Team meeting with the teacher. Without a diagnosis they can't put formal support in place but between you, you may be able to set up some strategies to make their lives easier, as well as his. </p><p></p><p>4) One strategy I urge you to use - a Communication Book. It's an alternative to regular (ie daily) classroom-step-conferences. Teachers need their break at the end of the day, especially if it's your kid that is making their life more challenging. This book makes it easier for them to head for home for that much-needed stiff drink, and yet still pass on to you vital information about how his day went.</p><p>I got a simple exercise book and printed out a full page 'label' for it. It said in large print, "Communication Book" with difficult child 3's name (and the number in the sequence - we had 7 in all, over the years he was in mainstream) followed by, in smaller text, "Family, friends and teachers, please write down anything of interest that difficult child 3 says or does, so we can have a record of his activities and progress. Good things, bad things, it helps everybody to know about any change in pattern as soon as possible. Regular use is most helpful for everybody."</p><p>I would write anything I felt the teacher needed to know such as "he slept badly last night with nightmares. He may be more tired and irritable than usual today." The teacher would reply with, "He actually wasn't too bad, until after lunch when the wheels fell off because he was asked to write a story."</p><p>Over time we could begin to see patterns and learn what set him off, what worked and where any other problems lay. It was the use of the book that helped us pinpoint an allergy of his, as well as the regular bullying. I kept the book informal and also did not penalise a teacher for venting. </p><p></p><p>5) Find ways to use his abilities/interests to keep his mind stimulated. For example, I taught difficult child 3 to read by writing a word down and drawing a matching picture. I'd make little books for him by folding a sheet of paper over and over, then stapling it and cutting the pages free (tape over the staples for safety). I did those when he was 2, and found that the words he learned to read were also the words he learned to use; he learned to talk because he first learned to read those words.</p><p></p><p>6) Try teaching him to play an instrument and to read music. I taught difficult child 3 to read music by plugging in to his obsession with letters. A piano works brilliantly with this because of the keyboard. I got Post-It tape and put a piece on each key of an octave, writing the name of the note on it. I then wrote the sequence of letters he needed to play, for him to be able to play his favourite tune ("Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" which is also the alphabet song). From there, I drew up manuscript (you can do it on standard lined paper, by using three consecutive lines to make the five staves, just rule another two lines between the others) and then drawing a circle with the name of the note written inside the circle, but placed on the correct line of the manuscript. From there is was a simple leap to plain notes.</p><p></p><p>Something to note, purely for my own interest - how are his joints? I keep coming across people with a hyperlexic, autistic child and their child, like mine, has hypermobile joints (aka double-jointed). You could see it with difficult child 3, especially when he tried to hold a pencil - his finger joints could bend back a lot, making holding pens and pencils painful and awkward for him. Playing piano actually was good therapy for him because he had to learn to curl his fingers in, which also helped strengthen them a bit. However, the hypermobility inevitably brings other problems such as early onset osteo-arthritis. We're already seeing it in difficult child 1 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 (also both hypermobile, also somewhat hyperlexic). They get it from their father.</p><p></p><p>If your son is doing maths, reading, doing other things like this - he needs the opportunity to continue to develop academically at the pace he is capable. However, this will be patchy. Some areas will be much more difficult for him. He may need to stay in the behaviour class but be given extension work. it's a difficult call. Kids who are in the gifted but learning disabled category are often falling through the cracks. What we've had to do with difficult child 3 is make up the deficits the school was unable to.</p><p></p><p>Where difficult child 3 is at now - although he 'failed' his first IQ test (he was 4, had major language delay and just hadn't been able to understand the test or its significance) he has since been assessed (conservatively, we were told) as having an IQ in the mid-140s. He is brilliant at punctuation, spelling and vocabulary, but when you put it all together has difficulty with any subtlety in the meaning. He is not good at "reading between the lines". He IS very capable at science, maths (when he takes the time to think about it) and anything analytical. He is now studying IT and electronics, doing very well. He has always been amazing at trouble-shooting with computers, he's already been paid for fixing a neighbour's computer problems for her. When he first started school his teacher used to sometimes use him to solve a computer glitch. he used to help his classmates if they were having trouble with the computer. He even hacked into the teacher's file for her once when she forgot her password (I think he must have been shoulder-surfing).</p><p></p><p>Socially - he now copes much better than I ever thought he would. He can be tactless, but not deliberately so. He makes an effort to be polite and kind, likes to help people, will chat to total strangers as well as people we know (he does have some face blindness problems) and can go off on his own at a shopping mall to 'comparison shop' for the best price for a product. A lot of people who encounter him casually are surprised when we tell them he is autistic. But his autism is evident if you know what to look for; it's in the moderate range, not mild. But as he said when he was 8 years old, "I'm getting better at pretending to be normal."</p><p></p><p>He understands about his autism and doesn't see it as a problem. For him, it is part of who and what he is and along with any problems, it has also brought gifts, intelligence and capability. </p><p></p><p>If you can Google "Tony Attwood" you may find some of the positive characteristics he has listed, as being found in people with high-functioning autism. Among them are loyalty, honesty (they are really bad at lying and soon learn it's safer not to try), law-abiding (you just have to teach them the right laws), and deep emotions. </p><p></p><p>It used to be thought that people with autism felt no emotions. That's not the case - it's just that they don't always express their feelings in ways we recognise. But they do feel, very deeply. Often they don't like to be touched and you have to only touch or hug them on their terms, but when your autistic child gives you a hug, you know they mean it.</p><p></p><p>We ask difficult child 3 for a hug, or a kiss. He used to hug his teachers all the time, even though they are not supposed to touch the students. He would always hug me at the school gate even when other boys would be too embarrassed to be seen hugging their mother.</p><p></p><p>They are a lot of work sometimes, but I have seen more progress than I ever thought possible, and it is the high IQ that has been an important tool for difficult child 3 to be able to do this.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 149390, member: 1991"] Tina, SRL has given you the same direction I would have. Sounds to me like some of my son's DNA has found its way into your son. They could be clones of each other. My son was initially, tentatively diagnosed as Asperger's, but once properly assessed we were told firmly that he is autistic. Nobody seemed to have heard the term "hyperlexia" which I found for myself. I was posting a lot on the hyperlexia site, when problems we were having needed more and someone sent me here instead. Since then I've mentioned hyperlexia to another doctor (pediatrician) difficult child 3 was seeing, and she added it to his diagnosis in her file with no argument. Part of the label issue - in Australia some conditions just don't get mentioned. Hyperlexia is one; childhood bipolar is another. If a parent says, "I want you to consider this," some doctors will say, "Okay, I'll look into it," and maybe the diagnosis can eventuate, but generally they won't come up with it themselves. Our doctors are a conservative lot. You need to get him assessed, preferably by a multidisciplinary team. But in the meantime, here are some things you can do: 1) Try to set up a speech pathology assessment. This needs to be done to see if there are any elements of language delay (needed for more accurate diagnosis). Even if he is rapidly making up ground with language, it is HISTORY of language delay that is such vital information. 2) Get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There is also some discussion on this book on this forum which you should find useful. Get his teachers to check it out as well. It really helps! 3) Try to set up a Learning Team meeting with the teacher. Without a diagnosis they can't put formal support in place but between you, you may be able to set up some strategies to make their lives easier, as well as his. 4) One strategy I urge you to use - a Communication Book. It's an alternative to regular (ie daily) classroom-step-conferences. Teachers need their break at the end of the day, especially if it's your kid that is making their life more challenging. This book makes it easier for them to head for home for that much-needed stiff drink, and yet still pass on to you vital information about how his day went. I got a simple exercise book and printed out a full page 'label' for it. It said in large print, "Communication Book" with difficult child 3's name (and the number in the sequence - we had 7 in all, over the years he was in mainstream) followed by, in smaller text, "Family, friends and teachers, please write down anything of interest that difficult child 3 says or does, so we can have a record of his activities and progress. Good things, bad things, it helps everybody to know about any change in pattern as soon as possible. Regular use is most helpful for everybody." I would write anything I felt the teacher needed to know such as "he slept badly last night with nightmares. He may be more tired and irritable than usual today." The teacher would reply with, "He actually wasn't too bad, until after lunch when the wheels fell off because he was asked to write a story." Over time we could begin to see patterns and learn what set him off, what worked and where any other problems lay. It was the use of the book that helped us pinpoint an allergy of his, as well as the regular bullying. I kept the book informal and also did not penalise a teacher for venting. 5) Find ways to use his abilities/interests to keep his mind stimulated. For example, I taught difficult child 3 to read by writing a word down and drawing a matching picture. I'd make little books for him by folding a sheet of paper over and over, then stapling it and cutting the pages free (tape over the staples for safety). I did those when he was 2, and found that the words he learned to read were also the words he learned to use; he learned to talk because he first learned to read those words. 6) Try teaching him to play an instrument and to read music. I taught difficult child 3 to read music by plugging in to his obsession with letters. A piano works brilliantly with this because of the keyboard. I got Post-It tape and put a piece on each key of an octave, writing the name of the note on it. I then wrote the sequence of letters he needed to play, for him to be able to play his favourite tune ("Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" which is also the alphabet song). From there, I drew up manuscript (you can do it on standard lined paper, by using three consecutive lines to make the five staves, just rule another two lines between the others) and then drawing a circle with the name of the note written inside the circle, but placed on the correct line of the manuscript. From there is was a simple leap to plain notes. Something to note, purely for my own interest - how are his joints? I keep coming across people with a hyperlexic, autistic child and their child, like mine, has hypermobile joints (aka double-jointed). You could see it with difficult child 3, especially when he tried to hold a pencil - his finger joints could bend back a lot, making holding pens and pencils painful and awkward for him. Playing piano actually was good therapy for him because he had to learn to curl his fingers in, which also helped strengthen them a bit. However, the hypermobility inevitably brings other problems such as early onset osteo-arthritis. We're already seeing it in difficult child 1 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 (also both hypermobile, also somewhat hyperlexic). They get it from their father. If your son is doing maths, reading, doing other things like this - he needs the opportunity to continue to develop academically at the pace he is capable. However, this will be patchy. Some areas will be much more difficult for him. He may need to stay in the behaviour class but be given extension work. it's a difficult call. Kids who are in the gifted but learning disabled category are often falling through the cracks. What we've had to do with difficult child 3 is make up the deficits the school was unable to. Where difficult child 3 is at now - although he 'failed' his first IQ test (he was 4, had major language delay and just hadn't been able to understand the test or its significance) he has since been assessed (conservatively, we were told) as having an IQ in the mid-140s. He is brilliant at punctuation, spelling and vocabulary, but when you put it all together has difficulty with any subtlety in the meaning. He is not good at "reading between the lines". He IS very capable at science, maths (when he takes the time to think about it) and anything analytical. He is now studying IT and electronics, doing very well. He has always been amazing at trouble-shooting with computers, he's already been paid for fixing a neighbour's computer problems for her. When he first started school his teacher used to sometimes use him to solve a computer glitch. he used to help his classmates if they were having trouble with the computer. He even hacked into the teacher's file for her once when she forgot her password (I think he must have been shoulder-surfing). Socially - he now copes much better than I ever thought he would. He can be tactless, but not deliberately so. He makes an effort to be polite and kind, likes to help people, will chat to total strangers as well as people we know (he does have some face blindness problems) and can go off on his own at a shopping mall to 'comparison shop' for the best price for a product. A lot of people who encounter him casually are surprised when we tell them he is autistic. But his autism is evident if you know what to look for; it's in the moderate range, not mild. But as he said when he was 8 years old, "I'm getting better at pretending to be normal." He understands about his autism and doesn't see it as a problem. For him, it is part of who and what he is and along with any problems, it has also brought gifts, intelligence and capability. If you can Google "Tony Attwood" you may find some of the positive characteristics he has listed, as being found in people with high-functioning autism. Among them are loyalty, honesty (they are really bad at lying and soon learn it's safer not to try), law-abiding (you just have to teach them the right laws), and deep emotions. It used to be thought that people with autism felt no emotions. That's not the case - it's just that they don't always express their feelings in ways we recognise. But they do feel, very deeply. Often they don't like to be touched and you have to only touch or hug them on their terms, but when your autistic child gives you a hug, you know they mean it. We ask difficult child 3 for a hug, or a kiss. He used to hug his teachers all the time, even though they are not supposed to touch the students. He would always hug me at the school gate even when other boys would be too embarrassed to be seen hugging their mother. They are a lot of work sometimes, but I have seen more progress than I ever thought possible, and it is the high IQ that has been an important tool for difficult child 3 to be able to do this. Marg [/QUOTE]
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