Welcome, Sleepy! I'm glad you've decided to come on board more openly. Good to see you here! Yes, much of your story sounds familiar to me, too. And, yes, isn't it a rather amazing sensation to finally run into a whole group who can relate? I mean really relate? Sad, yes. But helpful, also. We're all in this together. We're here for you!
CoM --- True that! The range of options may differ from diagnosis to diagnosis, but the fact is that Free Will remains to some degree -- usually a fairly large degree, in my opinion.