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<blockquote data-quote="200Meters" data-source="post: 747629" data-attributes="member: 23727"><p>Thank you (plural) for your replies.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We are letting him suffer the consequences of his actions but it still sucks.</p><p></p><p>I think he is learning (the hard way but that's the only way some people learn certain things) that his behaviors are harmful to him. About him learning that they are harmful to us, I am not so sure. Empathy has never been his strong suit.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think that a lot of his frustration stems from realizing that his luck has run out and that for the first time in his life of delinquency he will have to pay unpleasant consequences for his actions.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Your son has to make his own way to God. If he has a spark of faith, it will eventually be kindled. (See Song of Songs 5:2)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you and that's why I'm here.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Let's pretend I still live in the US. I think that our system is pretty similar to what goes in the US.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know but it's hard not to sometimes. We see our kids' peers and what they're doing & it's hard not feel envious, sometimes.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Eek!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>1) Possibly. I've never seen him drunk, high or stoned.</p><p></p><p>2) I don't think so. But ADHD, ODD, acute adolescence and adoption-quest-for-identity angst are a helluva witches brew.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I try and you're not kiddin'.</p><p></p><p>Walking the hounds helps. They are my animal therapy.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thanks.</p><p></p><p><em>...Treadtreadtread...</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Triedntrue, good luck with those upcoming legal issues.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He phoned earlier in quite a state. He is very worried about his brother. My wife & I also wonder how good an idea this is but as a for-the-time-being measure until the court decides what to do with Youngest, we think Youngest might be better off with his brother & girlfriend (the latter being a rather tough cookie).</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is exactly what both the pd & welfare officer have talked to us about. There are in-patient residential options and out-patient options where he might get therapy & counseling, have to work & do community service, etc.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We know.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree x 2. Though focusing on ourselves and letting our kids deal with our own messes can be difficult sometimes. But when someone is falling, the best thing you can do, hard as it may be, is to step out of the way & let them hit. Hopefully they will learn something from the impact and be in a better position to begin healing and growing.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yup.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I never thought of it this way before. Well put. Thank you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'll take all I can get. Thank you.</p><p></p><p>Well, we're due in court in just over 2.5 hours. I will keep everyone posted.</p><p></p><p>200Meters</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="200Meters, post: 747629, member: 23727"] Thank you (plural) for your replies. We are letting him suffer the consequences of his actions but it still sucks. I think he is learning (the hard way but that's the only way some people learn certain things) that his behaviors are harmful to him. About him learning that they are harmful to us, I am not so sure. Empathy has never been his strong suit. I think that a lot of his frustration stems from realizing that his luck has run out and that for the first time in his life of delinquency he will have to pay unpleasant consequences for his actions. Your son has to make his own way to God. If he has a spark of faith, it will eventually be kindled. (See Song of Songs 5:2) Thank you and that's why I'm here. Let's pretend I still live in the US. I think that our system is pretty similar to what goes in the US. I know but it's hard not to sometimes. We see our kids' peers and what they're doing & it's hard not feel envious, sometimes. Eek! 1) Possibly. I've never seen him drunk, high or stoned. 2) I don't think so. But ADHD, ODD, acute adolescence and adoption-quest-for-identity angst are a helluva witches brew. I try and you're not kiddin'. Walking the hounds helps. They are my animal therapy. Thanks. [I]...Treadtreadtread... [/I] Triedntrue, good luck with those upcoming legal issues. He phoned earlier in quite a state. He is very worried about his brother. My wife & I also wonder how good an idea this is but as a for-the-time-being measure until the court decides what to do with Youngest, we think Youngest might be better off with his brother & girlfriend (the latter being a rather tough cookie). This is exactly what both the pd & welfare officer have talked to us about. There are in-patient residential options and out-patient options where he might get therapy & counseling, have to work & do community service, etc. We know. I agree x 2. Though focusing on ourselves and letting our kids deal with our own messes can be difficult sometimes. But when someone is falling, the best thing you can do, hard as it may be, is to step out of the way & let them hit. Hopefully they will learn something from the impact and be in a better position to begin healing and growing. Yup. I never thought of it this way before. Well put. Thank you. I'll take all I can get. Thank you. Well, we're due in court in just over 2.5 hours. I will keep everyone posted. 200Meters [/QUOTE]
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