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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 750089" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>Reading your posts is like reliving my life with my adopted son. We went through many of the same situations that you have gone through. He cut off his ankle bracelet and then realized what he had done and called his probation officer . The probation officer was not happy, even though he called within 20 minutes of cutting it off and locked him up. This also hit me because my son has had similar behavior. I think it gets to the core of why he gets in trouble. It is the impulsivity of his actions. I think the stress of whatever just gets to them. They are going to do the first things that comes to their minds that they think will relieve the stress, even if it is destructive in the long term.</p><p> We tried many things when my son was young to give him time to "mature" and not get a criminal record as an adult. We live in a fairly small community where I knew many of the people involved from the judges, to the prosecuting attorney and police. When he was younger they really did work with us to help him. (I did find that the more money you have to place him in residential treatment and hire attorney's the more they work with you.) I would like to tell you that he has turned the corner, but he has not. I really don't regret trying to help him when he was younger 16-18. How were we suppose to know at that time it wasn't going to work? We had people tell us that we should just let him suffer the consequences. My feeling is that he did have consequences. He was locked up many times. When he was in residential treatment (3x's) he was not able to live at home and couldn't go anywhere on his own. I agree with you that prison is no place for anyone that you want to try and change their behavior.</p><p>Your son is still young and he may mature. What I wish I would have done when my son was younger was to not feel guilty for not being a "better parent" and taking personal responsibility for his actions. I think that my behavior in his younger years may have given him the impression that he was not wholly responsible for his actions. I know all these court dates are very stressful . Wishing you a few minutes of peace and happiness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 750089, member: 23328"] Reading your posts is like reliving my life with my adopted son. We went through many of the same situations that you have gone through. He cut off his ankle bracelet and then realized what he had done and called his probation officer . The probation officer was not happy, even though he called within 20 minutes of cutting it off and locked him up. This also hit me because my son has had similar behavior. I think it gets to the core of why he gets in trouble. It is the impulsivity of his actions. I think the stress of whatever just gets to them. They are going to do the first things that comes to their minds that they think will relieve the stress, even if it is destructive in the long term. We tried many things when my son was young to give him time to "mature" and not get a criminal record as an adult. We live in a fairly small community where I knew many of the people involved from the judges, to the prosecuting attorney and police. When he was younger they really did work with us to help him. (I did find that the more money you have to place him in residential treatment and hire attorney's the more they work with you.) I would like to tell you that he has turned the corner, but he has not. I really don't regret trying to help him when he was younger 16-18. How were we suppose to know at that time it wasn't going to work? We had people tell us that we should just let him suffer the consequences. My feeling is that he did have consequences. He was locked up many times. When he was in residential treatment (3x's) he was not able to live at home and couldn't go anywhere on his own. I agree with you that prison is no place for anyone that you want to try and change their behavior. Your son is still young and he may mature. What I wish I would have done when my son was younger was to not feel guilty for not being a "better parent" and taking personal responsibility for his actions. I think that my behavior in his younger years may have given him the impression that he was not wholly responsible for his actions. I know all these court dates are very stressful . Wishing you a few minutes of peace and happiness. [/QUOTE]
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