Help finding HELP for 8 year old!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lesleyneile, Jul 5, 2008.

  1. lesleyneile

    lesleyneile New Member


    I have 2 beautiful girls and am sooo very proud of both of them! My oldest daughter is 8years old and is exhibiting many signs of ODD. She has been through a lot in the past 4 years and some of her behavior may be stemming from that or possibly depression. I have posted here before and was advised to seek the help of a neuropsychologist for her. Is this something my pediatrician can help us with?

    And, what can I do in the meantime? It just seems as if everything is a battle! I feel like I am losing precious time with her because all we do is argue. It is the honest truth when I say she is driving me nuts! Any suggestions would be so helpful! Books? Websites?

    Thank you,
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi there!

    The pediatrician can certainly point you in the right direction to a neuropsychologist. If you have a Children's hospital or a big university hospital around, they would be your best bet.

    I'm going to assume (since my oldest is a former 30-weeker, also a surviving twin) that you're hooked into a developmental pediatrician or some type of followup for your youngest? That doctor/dept might also be a very good resource for you.

    In the meantime - I'd strongly recommend the book The Explosive Child. Helps you sort out what battles you really need to be fighting right now and what battles you don't. It's very easy to get caught up in the vicious cycle of arguing and consequences and yep, seems like it's day in/day out conflict. When you narrow things down to what's a priority to battle over and what can wait, it gives you and your daughter a bit more of a chance to catch a breath in between. been there done that. ;)

    I also would try to stop the arguing - I know, much easier said than done. My son would argue that grass is purple if I let him. Avoid words like no, try to rephrase things in a positive light. Can I have a cookie? You can have a cookie after dinner. That kind of thing. It took me a lot of practice because "no" had really become a habit with me.

    What battles bug you most?

    Hang in there!
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, hon. Ain't it a riot? Just kidding.
    I would do what Sue said. Ask pediatrician to set you up with a neuropsychologist. They do awesome evaluations (usually--there are lemons in every group, but they test A LOT and for hours). Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of your family tree? Substance abuse? Neurological problems such as autism/Aspergers? In the interim, while waiting for an evaluation (which is always stressful) I would buy a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Many of us have found that book a lifesaver, at least until we can get our kiddo's evaluated properly. His advice can cut a lot of the drama in the house.
    Welcome. Others will come along.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    The advice given is tops! I just wanted to add my welcome. I know it's tough but this group is amazing and has helped me so much. MicheleL