HELP! Getting my 4 yo to...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jungleland, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. Jungleland

    Jungleland Welcome to my jungle!

    ...sleep and to use the toilet!! ERRR!!! So very frustrating. I am too tired during the day dealing with her up and down all night long to stay consistent with having her sit on the toilet every hour all day long.

    Plus, our family life has changed BIG time with me and Jayme leaving husband and Aly. I know she is struggling with the changes, as I am, but eeerrrggghhh!!!! :whiteflag:

    pediatrician prescribed Clonidine .25 mg at bedtime and it works great to get her to fall asleep, but about 3 hours later, she wakes up, is combative and angry and agitated. So, talked with pediatrician and she said to try Melatonin again. Last night, fell asleep fine, woke up, not so combative but wanting to get up and play with her babies, color, etc. AT 2:00 a.m.!!!!!!! Got her back to sleep, rubbing her back and talking to her quietly. An hour later, she is awake again. Saying she is afraid, needs the light on, we compromise on the bathroom light (we share a room, one bedroom apartment, ugh!) About 5 a.m. she finally fell into a deep sleep and slept till about 9 a.m.

    This is not a new thing, she was doing this before we moved, been doing this on and off for about a year. But it definetly has gotten worse since the move.

    We haven't yet established a new pediatrician here, working on that one. Jayme hasn't been diagnosis'd with anything but delays in the areas of speech, large motor skills, potty training and some minor stimming (rocking, making odd sounds when angry or frustrated). When she was seen at Shriner's, they were looking at possible Cerebral Palsy, Autism, Genetic abnormalities, all were negative at that time, except for watching for further Autistic signs.

    She is so very bright, knows all her letters, their sounds, is a pre-reader, knows her numbers through 20, can put together 100 piece puzzles on her own, can completely dress herself. But her speech is still at least 1 1/2 years behind, her large motor skills are still very awkward, she is painfully shy with those she does not know intimately. But she does make eye contact with those she knows well. She still does not play with other kids, more side by side play or when really comfortable just runs along behind others kinda staying on the outer circle but trying to play.

    Anyways, guess I am asking for suggestions besides the usual, m &m after potty and sticker chart (which we are doing but she is starting to not care anymore). I have never been able to get her to poop on the toilet, but she will usually potty if I take her. She has never said she had to go and just went. I have pullups on her, the kind that supposedly get cold when she potties in them. Doesn't phase her a bit. I have tried "big girl panties" she just potties right through and then I have couches, carpet and lots of laundry that need cleaning.

    As far as the sleeping goes, I am out of ideas. I have tried the soft baby lullaby cd she used to love when she was younger. I have tried soft night lights, bathroom light on, no lights on, you name it. Please, someone throw some new ideas on me, I am about to drop from so many nights of interrupted sleep! :sleeping:

    Thanks and hugs,
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Vickie, have you tried putting her to sleep really early? I know it's sounds crazy but often when my kids weren't settling down it was because they were overtired. I'd move it back to like 7pm and things often improved. Also look broader into into sensory strategies if you haven't--my easy child daughter slept with us for years because she craved a warm body. During one illness she had the chills so I gave her my narrow mummy sleeping bag (very lofy, soft, and warm) and weren't we shocked when she started sleeping so much better.

    I never got anywhere with little stuff on the potty training--I had make the incentives count. With my oldest I used a Playmobile set he really wanted and let him pick out one piece (or groups of pieces) each time. difficult child was approaching 5 and what got him over the hurdle were Magic School Bus computer games. Yup, it was expensive, but a lot cheaper than continuing on in diapers.
  3. Lulu

    Lulu New Member

    Wanted to lend my hugs and support. I have no suggestions on the sleeping issues; my son will get into cycles of waking up at a certain time every night and needs to be put back to sleep by one of us, but he usually phases back out of it after a week or two. It is so hard to be sleep-deprived, I know.

    As far as pottying goes, I have NO idea what finally clicked for my son. It took every possible measure out there to get him to commit, and pooping was his last hold-out. He still refuses to use the potty when asked, and chooses to wait hours past when he should go. He has occasional accidents because of this. I am flummoxed and wish you MUCH luck.

    ((HUGS)) and keep us posted.
  4. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Something we've tried with difficult child 1 is letting him play his DS on the potty. We set a timer and had him sit on it after every meal. We had to set a timer because he would sit and play all day if we didn't. Sometimes he would go in the potty sometimes he wouldn't. We didn't make a big deal what happened as long as he went to sit.

    When difficult child 1 was little he was often sick. I was a single mom and shared a room with him. It helped to sleep with him. Then I could cuddle and soothe him while still half asleep. I've also gotten desperate enough to put on a movie for him. I'd sleep with him on my lap while he watched a movie. I would wake up if he got off my lap.
  5. aeditha17

    aeditha17 New Member

    My 5 y/o with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ODD, anxiety JUST started pooping on the potty right around Christmas. She was one of those witholders who we had to make more than one ER trip with for impaction (uhg!). Don't a have a clue why she decided she could poop, but nothing at all worked - not bribes, diets, NUTHIN! SHe just had to decide it was time. We still haver her in pullups overnight, though.
    Her little brother who is only 10 1/2 months younger has begun a poop in his pants thing. He gets so involved in play or TV that he would rather go in his pants than take a minute to go potty - ARGH - I truly sympathize with you.
    I have no magic bullets. I am at a loss. My 11 y/o with- Tourette's/ADHD had no problem with potty training. Hot wheels bribes for a week and he was good to go at age 3. Tabitha was another issue completely!!!!
    Good luck - I send HUGS and a knowing, sympathetic smile.