Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Help her? Let her sink? What's a mom of an 18 yr old to do?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 209901" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>I too agree with what Lisa said. I pretty much feel that after 18 it is a great privilege to live in my home. The biggest way a child shows that they appreciate that privilege and want to continue on living here, is to show total respect for our home and the people that live here. That includes going to school and working, contributing to the house by maintaining your space and helping with other household chores.</p><p></p><p>I personally think, as hard as it would be to do, is to set up some ultimatums for your daughter and then stick to them. I hear myself in your words so much from when my daughter was younger and especially living at home. You probably don't even recognize it, but in a way, I promise I'm trying to be nice here..... you're still coddling your daughter. I see it in the fact that you are so overly concerned with it sounds like every aspect of her life and YOU are having difficulty deciding what she should do, for example, calling her school, worrying, worrying, worrying. I know you love your daughter, but this should not be your worry. Of course you are concerned! Any mother would be, but the responsibility of school, her moods, her friends, her money, her life belong to your daughter.</p><p></p><p><strong>My therapist says let her go, but then she will fail school, get more depressed, not get a job, and if she doesn't complete the court requirements, she will have a misdemeanor on her record for life.</strong> Then that is what your daughter wants to happen, isn't it? She won't change her life, if her life never gets uncomfortable for her. If you continue to "fix" everything for her, she'll not feel the effects of her actions or lack there of and then <strong>you cripple her</strong> from ever learning how to deal with her own life. We all have to learn how to take responsibility of our own lives don't we?</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you! I know this is sooo difficult. I was over involved in my oldest daughters, my difficult child, life and I realize now, that I did more harm than good. I thought I'd just share.......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 209901, member: 30"] I too agree with what Lisa said. I pretty much feel that after 18 it is a great privilege to live in my home. The biggest way a child shows that they appreciate that privilege and want to continue on living here, is to show total respect for our home and the people that live here. That includes going to school and working, contributing to the house by maintaining your space and helping with other household chores. I personally think, as hard as it would be to do, is to set up some ultimatums for your daughter and then stick to them. I hear myself in your words so much from when my daughter was younger and especially living at home. You probably don't even recognize it, but in a way, I promise I'm trying to be nice here..... you're still coddling your daughter. I see it in the fact that you are so overly concerned with it sounds like every aspect of her life and YOU are having difficulty deciding what she should do, for example, calling her school, worrying, worrying, worrying. I know you love your daughter, but this should not be your worry. Of course you are concerned! Any mother would be, but the responsibility of school, her moods, her friends, her money, her life belong to your daughter. [B]My therapist says let her go, but then she will fail school, get more depressed, not get a job, and if she doesn't complete the court requirements, she will have a misdemeanor on her record for life.[/B] Then that is what your daughter wants to happen, isn't it? She won't change her life, if her life never gets uncomfortable for her. If you continue to "fix" everything for her, she'll not feel the effects of her actions or lack there of and then [B]you cripple her[/B] from ever learning how to deal with her own life. We all have to learn how to take responsibility of our own lives don't we? Hugs to you! I know this is sooo difficult. I was over involved in my oldest daughters, my difficult child, life and I realize now, that I did more harm than good. I thought I'd just share....... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Help her? Let her sink? What's a mom of an 18 yr old to do?
Top