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Help! I need somebody, no not just anybody
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 159441" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>When I was younger, so much younger than today - </p><p>I never needed anyone to help me through the day - </p><p> </p><p>YeahaaaaaH ooooooooohhhhh </p><p> </p><p>The reason my son did okay (not stellar) at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and fell apart at home was because there wasn't ANY way I could replicate the level of structure at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at home. We tried - we rearranged our entire lives, schedules to accomodate his needs and despite all our efforts I realized we'd NEVER be able to do it. </p><p> </p><p>At an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) they have rotating shifts of 8 hour days with breaks. (I work 10 hours, come home and try to pretend my day was dandy to deal with WHATEVER difficult child threw my way with no break.</p><p> </p><p>They had a staff ratio of 15: 5 - we were 1 disabled man and 1 worn out Mom to 1 HECK of a difficult child. I suffered battle fatigue and then had to take care of DF (dear fiance) and his disability and the house, and the bills, and stuff around the house that broke, needed, mowed, needed fixed, needed repaired, mooed, barked or meowed. For 5 years - it was me. AND dealing with difficult child and the school and his mental health people and the pharmacy and this and that and without soapboxing this to bubbles you get my Dreft. haha get it? Dreft? Ahaaaaaaem </p><p> </p><p>At an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - it's a job. They are never going to be emotionally vested in your child. They will TELL you they are, push comes to shove it's going to be THEM first. And if the kids do form an attachment - a lot of times the people leave. Most Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and the like have a high turn over so there are fresh faces and NEW buttons for a difficult child to push. </p><p> </p><p>I would check into a local Mentor group and see if you can get your daughter into foster care - not any kind = therapeutic foster care. Or respite. Look for something like a YAPS Youth Advocacy Program Service in your area. You need a break from her as much as she needs it from you. </p><p> </p><p>A proper diagnoses is paramount to her well being and your plan/goal for her to succeed. And IEP at school will help and I believe therapy once a week for a LONG time is helpful. </p><p> </p><p>Once we know more about you we'll be able to point you in a better direction...and think about this too - it may benefit YOU to go to therapy as well. I know - I was like - ME??? MEEEEEEE??? but after going for a long time as a parent I can tell you without my 1 hour @(#@_) sessions a week to blow it out my nose about difficult child? I would probably be in the nut house. </p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the community - </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 159441, member: 4964"] When I was younger, so much younger than today - I never needed anyone to help me through the day - YeahaaaaaH ooooooooohhhhh The reason my son did okay (not stellar) at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and fell apart at home was because there wasn't ANY way I could replicate the level of structure at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at home. We tried - we rearranged our entire lives, schedules to accomodate his needs and despite all our efforts I realized we'd NEVER be able to do it. At an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) they have rotating shifts of 8 hour days with breaks. (I work 10 hours, come home and try to pretend my day was dandy to deal with WHATEVER difficult child threw my way with no break. They had a staff ratio of 15: 5 - we were 1 disabled man and 1 worn out Mom to 1 HECK of a difficult child. I suffered battle fatigue and then had to take care of DF (dear fiance) and his disability and the house, and the bills, and stuff around the house that broke, needed, mowed, needed fixed, needed repaired, mooed, barked or meowed. For 5 years - it was me. AND dealing with difficult child and the school and his mental health people and the pharmacy and this and that and without soapboxing this to bubbles you get my Dreft. haha get it? Dreft? Ahaaaaaaem At an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - it's a job. They are never going to be emotionally vested in your child. They will TELL you they are, push comes to shove it's going to be THEM first. And if the kids do form an attachment - a lot of times the people leave. Most Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and the like have a high turn over so there are fresh faces and NEW buttons for a difficult child to push. I would check into a local Mentor group and see if you can get your daughter into foster care - not any kind = therapeutic foster care. Or respite. Look for something like a YAPS Youth Advocacy Program Service in your area. You need a break from her as much as she needs it from you. A proper diagnoses is paramount to her well being and your plan/goal for her to succeed. And IEP at school will help and I believe therapy once a week for a LONG time is helpful. Once we know more about you we'll be able to point you in a better direction...and think about this too - it may benefit YOU to go to therapy as well. I know - I was like - ME??? MEEEEEEE??? but after going for a long time as a parent I can tell you without my 1 hour @(#@_) sessions a week to blow it out my nose about difficult child? I would probably be in the nut house. Welcome to the community - Star [/QUOTE]
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