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Help-Im waivering w no support from husband and a crying gtg on the streets
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 526749" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Stand tough, warrior mom. You can do this. But yes, it is INCREDIBLY hard, and it breaks your heart.</p><p></p><p>Here's a great list of responses you can use for various phone calls/situations:</p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f21/lets-brainstorm-make-list-685/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f21/lets-brainstorm-make-list-685/</a></p><p></p><p>Also, I've said this many times here: these kids tend to have a remarkable resilience when they're kicked out. Once they're forced to figure it out, they do. They are rarely literally "on the streets," except for maybe a night or two in their car (although there are exceptions). They're so good at manipulating folks to get what they want, they inevitably talk someone else into helping them out, by playing the "poor me, my parents kicked me out, aren't hey horrible people?" card. One of the hardest things for me was to not worry about what other people thought of my kicking Oldest out, when that happened at age 19. I knew she was painting a terrible picture of me, especially because she suffers from a physical illness (how could I throw out such a sick child?). But *I* knew the whole story, and *I* knew I was totally right to kick her out of my house because of her abusive and sometimes physically violent behavior. If someone called me and tried to get in the middle of it, or got angry with me because they thought I'd pushed my kid into their household, that was on them. That was their choice. I'd made mine, and anything that happened after that was not within my control, nor was it my "fault" (no matter what difficult child might say). </p><p></p><p>One of the things I urge you to do right now is step up your therapist appointments, maybe see her once a week for now, if possible, until you get through this crisis. It helps to get more frequent reminders of "yes you're doing the right thing" while in the midst of stuff like this. You might also look for a Families Anonymous or AlAnon meeting in your area for some additional support. </p><p></p><p>Success stories: I kicked Oldest out at 19. I won't lie, it took many years of moving place to place, going through friendships and jobs, a couple of psychiatric hospital visits, losing most everything she owned, to get somewhat "stable." At 28, she still tends to change jobs every six months, and roommates only slightly less frequently, but she is self-sufficient. She pays her bills (I think), and has even had some local press on putting together some charity events in our area. I haven't seen evidence of pain pill abuse in a few years now. She's not perfect, but I call that a success, based on where we came from.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 526749, member: 1157"] Stand tough, warrior mom. You can do this. But yes, it is INCREDIBLY hard, and it breaks your heart. Here's a great list of responses you can use for various phone calls/situations: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f21/lets-brainstorm-make-list-685/[/url] Also, I've said this many times here: these kids tend to have a remarkable resilience when they're kicked out. Once they're forced to figure it out, they do. They are rarely literally "on the streets," except for maybe a night or two in their car (although there are exceptions). They're so good at manipulating folks to get what they want, they inevitably talk someone else into helping them out, by playing the "poor me, my parents kicked me out, aren't hey horrible people?" card. One of the hardest things for me was to not worry about what other people thought of my kicking Oldest out, when that happened at age 19. I knew she was painting a terrible picture of me, especially because she suffers from a physical illness (how could I throw out such a sick child?). But *I* knew the whole story, and *I* knew I was totally right to kick her out of my house because of her abusive and sometimes physically violent behavior. If someone called me and tried to get in the middle of it, or got angry with me because they thought I'd pushed my kid into their household, that was on them. That was their choice. I'd made mine, and anything that happened after that was not within my control, nor was it my "fault" (no matter what difficult child might say). One of the things I urge you to do right now is step up your therapist appointments, maybe see her once a week for now, if possible, until you get through this crisis. It helps to get more frequent reminders of "yes you're doing the right thing" while in the midst of stuff like this. You might also look for a Families Anonymous or AlAnon meeting in your area for some additional support. Success stories: I kicked Oldest out at 19. I won't lie, it took many years of moving place to place, going through friendships and jobs, a couple of psychiatric hospital visits, losing most everything she owned, to get somewhat "stable." At 28, she still tends to change jobs every six months, and roommates only slightly less frequently, but she is self-sufficient. She pays her bills (I think), and has even had some local press on putting together some charity events in our area. I haven't seen evidence of pain pill abuse in a few years now. She's not perfect, but I call that a success, based on where we came from. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Help-Im waivering w no support from husband and a crying gtg on the streets
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