HELP ME -- i'm about to loose it.....

[huntersmom2002]

My 5 yr old (he was born premature @ 27wks)is about to drive me batty! I noticed something was not right with him when he was at little over 2 yrs. old. We went through the head butting stage with him, he was running smack dab into walls(almost knocking himself out), I had to restrain him when he had his bad tantrums. As he got older he has been more violent with me- yelling, screaming,throwing items, kicking, and hitting. He has been in early childhood (PPCD)since he was 3 yrs. old, and was in speech therapy. Before he was 3 we had specialists from ECI(Early Childhood Intervention) coming out for Occupational,Behavioral, and Developmental therapy. When he turned 3 yrs., we got him to the Child Study Center and they diagnosed him with ADD/ADHD, and he was put on respridol, and metadate. It worked for the most part then he went straight back downhill to where he at before. We tried to get help no one would listen so I wound up taking him to a behavioral health clinic in april 2007,he was there for 6 days in the hospital and they we able to see what we were trying to tell everyone else. They diagnosed him severe ADHD, and Bioplar I(severe agression), they had put him ridalin(did not work), they tried Clonidine(did not work) they tried to put him on respridal, and metadate again( I told them NO), so they put him on abilify, depakote, Focalin. It's ok helps sometimes but he is very defiant too. He will not listen to me, he is starting to not listen to my husband, and my parents. He refuses to follow orders. We have him going to a play therapists and she told me that she can see that he has ODD. I do not know how to deal with a child with ODD. I was told that spanking and putting them in the corner is one of the worst things you can do to a child with ODD. I mean he is only 5 yrs old. I am afraid for him to go outside and play with the kids( I have seen his reactions) He does not listen or pay attention to what he is doing. If you have any advice please help me. I had to take off of work to care for him, becasue he has problems in daycare.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Hi and welcome to the board!

First of all, hugs. Glad you found us, but sorry you had to.

My daughter is 6, and currently diagnosis (diagnosed) as ADHD/ODD and possibly bipolar, so I know what you are going through. Life is very unpredictable.

The good news is that you are light years ahead of many, having dealt with your son's issues head on when he was young. That is commendable. The bad news is, so much of it is trial and error. And while one medication works great this month, next month it can wreak havoc.

One glimmer of hope that I can offer is that my daughter had problems in daycare too, but once she started school, she really was fine. In school. She saved it all for me, but she did great in school her K year.

Might I suggest you get yourself a copy of "the explosive child" by Ross Greene. Very good read, has great ideas about dealing with these difficult children.

There are many more wise warrior moms who will be along to offer their advice and experience shortly. Share as often as you need to, do not be shy. Again, welcome!

 

[nvts]

Hi! Big Bad Kitty is right! You're mile ahead of the game. One thing that I learned on this board is that you should go out and get a neuropsyche evaluation. This is done by a neuropsychologist. It seems that a lot of our kids are misdiagnosed quite often and these guys test them every way from Sunday. Most can be found at a Childrens or Teachers Hospital. Don't dispair! You've done a great job tracking all of this down and trying to figure out the problem (you've also found a lot of smart people who have tons of experience).

Beth

 

[huntersmom2002]

THEY HAVE A DOCTOR IN DALLAS, TX WHO WAS I THINK ON OPRAH OR ONE OF THOSE TALK SHOWS. HE WAS ABLE TO DIAGNOSE ALOT OF KIDS PROBLEMS THAT HAPPEN TO BE THE FOOD THEY WERE EATING, SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE DYES IN THE FOOD, ETC.... OTHER STUFF. BUT FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD HE IS SUCH AN EXCELLENT DOCTOR THAT HE IS ON A YEAR TO 2 YR WAITING LIST. I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE MY SON THERE.

 

[AllStressedOut]

Can you PM me the doctors name? I'm near there so I'm curious.

We just received our first set of results from a neuropsychologist. Very interesting and he spent more time with my kids in one session than my psychiatrist did in the year he saw the boys.

Glad you found the board, sorry you had to. Many experienced moms on here will be able to give you additional advice.

 

[Kjs]

Hello.

My son was diagnosed with ODD at a very young age. He was removed from Day-care (asked to remove him). Luckily we found another that worked with us/him.

Know the feeling exactly. Not knowing what will happen outside.

They the life right out of you. It is so hard, you do what you need to do and then you hear other parents making comments. These parents do not have a clue what it is like. Just imagine them walking in your shoes for just a short time.

Same issues with discipline. If we spanked him he got meaner. Finally found ONE thing that seems to work. (even though he says he doesn't care...he does and it works) That is removing things from him. computer, game system, phone, ipod..whatever it is he likes. Then he has to "EARN" it back. And not by sucking up for one day either. School has been a challenge.

Oh...I could go on and on. Your story is so very familiar. We gave into medication when he was 9...he asked for help. He didn't like the way he was always feeling. Have tried several, it is trial and error. Some work some don't.

Hope things settle down for you.

 

[Star*]

Hi and welcome.

Hugs for your day. Get used to days like this being the norm. and appreciate the days when he actually does behave normal to be a gift. Mentally it will help you prepare for the future ahead of you. (yes I'm serious)

My son is now 17 and no better. We had encopresis thrown in just to make it interesting. If there was a stone unturned in the life of making things better for my child, I want to see it.

In 12 years, I've done/tried/enacted/read/traveled/begged for everything you can imagine. My son has been on 69 medications and combinations; today he refuses any medications. I can't blame him they really did not help him. HE is responsible for his actions. Some medications did seem to mask certain behaviors but nothing "worked" there was no miracle pill, doctor, behavior modification, or lesson that seemed to stick.

I can tell you that early intervention and a long term behavior therapist will be a big help. Chasing a rainbow hoping to put a name on what is wrong is exhausting. And I know it's not just putting a name to the problem - you figure ONCE I KNOW what it is, then we can work on a cure or at the least a sedative or a plan or a doctor he connects with.

My best recommendation would be the suggestion above of a neuropsychologist. My son has had 3 MRI's done over the years because even the 'experts' would watch his behavior and scratch their heads saying "It HAS to be in the brain". And I would sit patiently for the results almost hoping that they would find something, anything wrong so I could name it, fix it, and get on with my life.

What I finally have accepted as reality in my life and a stroke, and heart attack caused from stress over the antics of my difficult child? Take better care of yourself, get yourself counseling because YOU are going to need it, you are going to have to deal and live with this child and his behaviors and what it does to your family.

I'm not saying and would never suggest that it's futile. That's the way I feel now after more interventions than I could list here. Even my therapist sits with his mouth open during some of our sessions when I tell him the answer to "Well what's been happening in your week?" I'm certain my family is in his book under Believe it or Not.

I guess in making a few suggestions to you....I would try
neuropsychologist, Allergist with complete testing, and a therapist for you (not because YOU are crazy) but this is stressful and you will need SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR HUSBAND to vent on. And it gives you ideas to cope with the behavior your seeing.

I'm really an eternal optomist. But now sadly I accept what it is and had there been a cure, or a pill - Belive me I'd have had it. Somewhere in all of this you have to find a peace and acceptance that this is your child.

I only had one child. Sometimes I ask myself if I would have been happier if I had at least one other that is a easy child to prove it wasn't my parenting skills or somehow my fault genetically. With therapy I was able to move on.

I hope you find solutions, you sound like a younger version of myself. When my son was diagnosis I figured that was the beginning of the end. For us, it only gave us a reason to get services.

I truly wish you the best. I belive if there is something out there - YOU are the girl that will find it.

Hugs & Understanding
Mom of Falling Star-Dude, age 17

 

[Sheila]

Early intervention is important and can be very helpful.

There's a thread on ODD in the classroom in the Special Education Archives (I believe). Some of the same techniques can be used in the home.

Welcome aboard.

 

[Hound dog]

Welcome :grin:

Has your son ever had a neurological evaluation? (for any possible after affects of being born so premature) Or a neuropsychological evaluation??

The head butting and such remind me of my son when he was young. I'm wondering if you have more going on than just a behavioral problem/mood/mental disorder. Something might be being missed.

((hugs))

 

[huntersmom2002]

yeah he has gone through all the Early childhood intervention he has been in school since he turned 3 years old. has been in speech therapy. He is now in play therapy(out of school), but i am about to do another ARD meeting with the elementry school to get him into behavioral and have a test ran for him to get him other help with the school for his ADD/ADHD/Bipolar and have them test him for ODD, too. Can anyone explain to me what i need to do to get a neuropscychologist/neuropsyche? And what do they do when they run the test? And how effective are the results>?