Hi and welcome.
Hugs for your day. Get used to days like this being the norm. and appreciate the days when he actually does behave normal to be a gift. Mentally it will help you prepare for the future ahead of you. (yes I'm serious)
My son is now 17 and no better. We had encopresis thrown in just to make it interesting. If there was a stone unturned in the life of making things better for my child, I want to see it.
In 12 years, I've done/tried/enacted/read/traveled/begged for everything you can imagine. My son has been on 69 medications and combinations; today he refuses any medications. I can't blame him they really did not help him. HE is responsible for his actions. Some medications did seem to mask certain behaviors but nothing "worked" there was no miracle pill, doctor, behavior modification, or lesson that seemed to stick.
I can tell you that early intervention and a long term behavior therapist will be a big help. Chasing a rainbow hoping to put a name on what is wrong is exhausting. And I know it's not just putting a name to the problem - you figure ONCE I KNOW what it is, then we can work on a cure or at the least a sedative or a plan or a doctor he connects with.
My best recommendation would be the suggestion above of a neuropsychologist. My son has had 3 MRI's done over the years because even the 'experts' would watch his behavior and scratch their heads saying "It HAS to be in the brain". And I would sit patiently for the results almost hoping that they would find something, anything wrong so I could name it, fix it, and get on with my life.
What I finally have accepted as reality in my life and a stroke, and heart attack caused from stress over the antics of my difficult child? Take better care of yourself, get yourself counseling because YOU are going to need it, you are going to have to deal and live with this child and his behaviors and what it does to your family.
I'm not saying and would never suggest that it's futile. That's the way I feel now after more interventions than I could list here. Even my therapist sits with his mouth open during some of our sessions when I tell him the answer to "Well what's been happening in your week?" I'm certain my family is in his book under Believe it or Not.
I guess in making a few suggestions to you....I would try
neuropsychologist, Allergist with complete testing, and a therapist for you (not because YOU are crazy) but this is stressful and you will need SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR HUSBAND to vent on. And it gives you ideas to cope with the behavior your seeing.
I'm really an eternal optomist. But now sadly I accept what it is and had there been a cure, or a pill - Belive me I'd have had it. Somewhere in all of this you have to find a peace and acceptance that this is your child.
I only had one child. Sometimes I ask myself if I would have been happier if I had at least one other that is a easy child to prove it wasn't my parenting skills or somehow my fault genetically. With therapy I was able to move on.
I hope you find solutions, you sound like a younger version of myself. When my son was diagnosis I figured that was the beginning of the end. For us, it only gave us a reason to get services.
I truly wish you the best. I belive if there is something out there - YOU are the girl that will find it.
Hugs & Understanding
Mom of Falling Star-Dude, age 17
