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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 311524" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Christy, there is help. You have a combination of problems here which need different methods of management.</p><p></p><p>Even without a clear diagnosis, there are things you can do. Whatever you're trying to do now isn't working. Plus you have typical teen issues in there which doesn't help.</p><p></p><p>I am short of time tonight, so I'll put stuff in here quickly.</p><p></p><p>1) Get a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It is a different way of handlnig kids likev this, it helps you get around the problems. We tend to try to handle kids like this by clamping down tighter in asserting our own authority, but this is the worst thing we can do. Instead of being authority figures, we need to become facilitators. You are the fount of wisdom but at their age, they of course know everything. They need to learn to value you once more and to do this, you need to show them how valuable you are to them. This requires a little planning, preparation and a g reat deal of patience and understanding. However, it does bring results so the patience and understanding should bring rewards for you and help you feel justified in your efforts.</p><p></p><p>2) ODD rarely travels alone. ADHD may be enoguh to explain its arrival, but there could be another underlying disorder. Treat the underlying disorder and you stand a better chance of helping them overcome the ODD signs you see. And medications are not the only way to treat - all medications do, is ease a problem sufficiently for your own interventions to begin to make headway. medications alone will not cure anything. They just make it easier to cope and to begin to help. After the medications, comes the personal effort. You need the personal effort, always.</p><p></p><p>3) Stick aorund, talk to people here. Help is here. Do a sig when you can so you don't have to keep repeating your circumstances every time you post. Keep it anonymous, that way you can feel free to vent and know you have confidentiality. You don't want family, or class teachers, or doctors, to find your vents and get angry with you!</p><p></p><p>Welcome.</p><p></p><p>Sorry you need us but glad we're here.</p><p></p><p>I have more to say to you, but I'll let you assimilate this first.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 311524, member: 1991"] Christy, there is help. You have a combination of problems here which need different methods of management. Even without a clear diagnosis, there are things you can do. Whatever you're trying to do now isn't working. Plus you have typical teen issues in there which doesn't help. I am short of time tonight, so I'll put stuff in here quickly. 1) Get a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It is a different way of handlnig kids likev this, it helps you get around the problems. We tend to try to handle kids like this by clamping down tighter in asserting our own authority, but this is the worst thing we can do. Instead of being authority figures, we need to become facilitators. You are the fount of wisdom but at their age, they of course know everything. They need to learn to value you once more and to do this, you need to show them how valuable you are to them. This requires a little planning, preparation and a g reat deal of patience and understanding. However, it does bring results so the patience and understanding should bring rewards for you and help you feel justified in your efforts. 2) ODD rarely travels alone. ADHD may be enoguh to explain its arrival, but there could be another underlying disorder. Treat the underlying disorder and you stand a better chance of helping them overcome the ODD signs you see. And medications are not the only way to treat - all medications do, is ease a problem sufficiently for your own interventions to begin to make headway. medications alone will not cure anything. They just make it easier to cope and to begin to help. After the medications, comes the personal effort. You need the personal effort, always. 3) Stick aorund, talk to people here. Help is here. Do a sig when you can so you don't have to keep repeating your circumstances every time you post. Keep it anonymous, that way you can feel free to vent and know you have confidentiality. You don't want family, or class teachers, or doctors, to find your vents and get angry with you! Welcome. Sorry you need us but glad we're here. I have more to say to you, but I'll let you assimilate this first. Marg [/QUOTE]
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