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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 234613" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Denita - sorry things haven't improved. What happened to her going to live with... was it family or friends?? </p><p> </p><p>We're in a kinda similar situation, or will be very soon, as it looks likely my son will be moving back home in order to try to get him away from drugs. It's a last ditch effort, really. As we're trying to figure out how this is going to work (he doesn't attend school, has yet to get a job, has a long history of violence), the only thing I'm really sure of is that this family will *not* revolve solely around him ever again. What that it may boil down to is us evicting him fairly quickly though I am praying hard that a miracle will happen and he'll get his act together.</p><p> </p><p>It's a horrible position to be put in, but when you have a kid who has been given every opportunity to participate in school, therapy, and treatment, and who still refuses to *and* who has such a negative impact on innocent family members then you really do have to weigh what other family members are entitled to in their own home. In my book, that's safety, relative peace, no drugs, and no violence, period. </p><p> </p><p>I'm kind of a hard case at this stage. I love my difficult child more than words can say. I've done my very best to try to prepare him, with an incredible amount of outside help, for his adult life. But in my mind there's a very firm line that he cannot cross while he's living here. If he does, he's out. The end. </p><p> </p><p>There are boundaries, Denita. Simple basic rules and simple basic rights. You and your family do have the right to be safe in your home. If your daughter cannot comply and the family is at risk, then.... I think you do have to strongly consider other options. I know as I look at my other kids and how they are thriving right now that as much as husband and I feel we *must* try to get thank you off drugs, we also absolutely must protect them. It's a very fine line.</p><p> </p><p>If she runs from foster care, that's *her* choice. You cannot be responsible for that. If she gets consequences for the assault, again - *her* choice. If she can no longer live in your home, her choice. </p><p> </p><p>At 16, I would try to push for a therapeutic placement for her, but I seem to recall that she's a pretty noncompliant kiddo - it's been my experience with my son that therapeutic placements won't consider taking a kid who is not invested in actual treatment. But - it might be worth a try.</p><p> </p><p>I'm so sorry things haven't improved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 234613, member: 8"] Hi Denita - sorry things haven't improved. What happened to her going to live with... was it family or friends?? We're in a kinda similar situation, or will be very soon, as it looks likely my son will be moving back home in order to try to get him away from drugs. It's a last ditch effort, really. As we're trying to figure out how this is going to work (he doesn't attend school, has yet to get a job, has a long history of violence), the only thing I'm really sure of is that this family will *not* revolve solely around him ever again. What that it may boil down to is us evicting him fairly quickly though I am praying hard that a miracle will happen and he'll get his act together. It's a horrible position to be put in, but when you have a kid who has been given every opportunity to participate in school, therapy, and treatment, and who still refuses to *and* who has such a negative impact on innocent family members then you really do have to weigh what other family members are entitled to in their own home. In my book, that's safety, relative peace, no drugs, and no violence, period. I'm kind of a hard case at this stage. I love my difficult child more than words can say. I've done my very best to try to prepare him, with an incredible amount of outside help, for his adult life. But in my mind there's a very firm line that he cannot cross while he's living here. If he does, he's out. The end. There are boundaries, Denita. Simple basic rules and simple basic rights. You and your family do have the right to be safe in your home. If your daughter cannot comply and the family is at risk, then.... I think you do have to strongly consider other options. I know as I look at my other kids and how they are thriving right now that as much as husband and I feel we *must* try to get thank you off drugs, we also absolutely must protect them. It's a very fine line. If she runs from foster care, that's *her* choice. You cannot be responsible for that. If she gets consequences for the assault, again - *her* choice. If she can no longer live in your home, her choice. At 16, I would try to push for a therapeutic placement for her, but I seem to recall that she's a pretty noncompliant kiddo - it's been my experience with my son that therapeutic placements won't consider taking a kid who is not invested in actual treatment. But - it might be worth a try. I'm so sorry things haven't improved. [/QUOTE]
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