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Help...need some ideas!
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 471554" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Well this is all too familiar. We did the 24 hour supervision thing for about 9 months before we wore out and sent her to first Residential Treatment Center (RTC).. She figured how to use at school. Never got caught. This Aug. when she was home from horrible second Residential Treatment Center (RTC) experience-she began running. We told her she was on supervision until she earned trust. She would get the basics only. She didn't make it 3 days. She ran all the time. She didn't go to school. Her drug of choice isn't a "drug", though she has used marijuana in the past (who knows maybe again), doesn't matter, they will get what they want.</p><p></p><p>I don't regret anything-I think sending the <u>message</u> is important. I would search his backpack, room, locker and pockets every day. I told mine that bringing pot into the home could get us in trouble so I wanted to check every time she came in. She's so sick of it she doesn't carry a purse anymore. Check her room several times a week (its been pretty stripped for over 2 years). I want her to know it's our home, our rules, and I care. Though we have had a few good weeks (relative good weeks), she still tries to control things. </p><p></p><p>There is no way you will know all he is doing-but I do think you should stand firm. I also think you tell him he goes no where until he agrees to see a counselor.</p><p>Telling the school could go either way. It all depends on the outcome, the judge (if charges are filed). My guess is that being on a waiting list for the TBS will be a bonus. With our daughter we put her in first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 2 weeks before she saw the commissioner. He court ordered that she stay and finish. Trust me, this a good thing. The kids who were ordered finished the program. </p><p>I had great hopes for both RTCs and she has just gotten worse in some ways. In other ways she has an awareness of her issues that she never had. She can at times use good coping skills which she was totally unable to do before. I don't think anything is a cure- all for some of our kids. I do maintain that as they mature, they are more likely to use the things they learn in these places.</p><p></p><p>Most of all, I think you have to do what you need to do. Each of us have our own definition of good parenting. I want to be able to look back and say," I did everything I could,stayed within my value system, and did what I knew to do at the time." That is how I ulimately make the many hard decisions that come with raising these tough kids. 20/20 is hindsight.</p><p></p><p>I greatly value the input from others hear and it helps me think about all the angles and which one I can live with.</p><p>Hugs to you, and hope your 2 months goes by fast!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 471554, member: 11001"] Well this is all too familiar. We did the 24 hour supervision thing for about 9 months before we wore out and sent her to first Residential Treatment Center (RTC).. She figured how to use at school. Never got caught. This Aug. when she was home from horrible second Residential Treatment Center (RTC) experience-she began running. We told her she was on supervision until she earned trust. She would get the basics only. She didn't make it 3 days. She ran all the time. She didn't go to school. Her drug of choice isn't a "drug", though she has used marijuana in the past (who knows maybe again), doesn't matter, they will get what they want. I don't regret anything-I think sending the [U]message[/U] is important. I would search his backpack, room, locker and pockets every day. I told mine that bringing pot into the home could get us in trouble so I wanted to check every time she came in. She's so sick of it she doesn't carry a purse anymore. Check her room several times a week (its been pretty stripped for over 2 years). I want her to know it's our home, our rules, and I care. Though we have had a few good weeks (relative good weeks), she still tries to control things. There is no way you will know all he is doing-but I do think you should stand firm. I also think you tell him he goes no where until he agrees to see a counselor. Telling the school could go either way. It all depends on the outcome, the judge (if charges are filed). My guess is that being on a waiting list for the TBS will be a bonus. With our daughter we put her in first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 2 weeks before she saw the commissioner. He court ordered that she stay and finish. Trust me, this a good thing. The kids who were ordered finished the program. I had great hopes for both RTCs and she has just gotten worse in some ways. In other ways she has an awareness of her issues that she never had. She can at times use good coping skills which she was totally unable to do before. I don't think anything is a cure- all for some of our kids. I do maintain that as they mature, they are more likely to use the things they learn in these places. Most of all, I think you have to do what you need to do. Each of us have our own definition of good parenting. I want to be able to look back and say," I did everything I could,stayed within my value system, and did what I knew to do at the time." That is how I ulimately make the many hard decisions that come with raising these tough kids. 20/20 is hindsight. I greatly value the input from others hear and it helps me think about all the angles and which one I can live with. Hugs to you, and hope your 2 months goes by fast! [/QUOTE]
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