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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 245574" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>GwennyDonna, welcome.</p><p> </p><p>Wow, he's quite a handful. He needs serious therapy.</p><p> </p><p>I agree with-Star, he is getting major league attention and getting his way now that he's living with-you.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing I would do is sit down with-your husband and come up with-a plan so that you two are in agreement. You cannot let this child destroy your marriage. Don't forget, you've got another little one you are responsible for.</p><p>Also, you need to agree with-your husband that your stepson has issues that are beyond your expertise. IOW, just disciplining him is not going to work. Things that work for regular kids are not going to work for him.</p><p> </p><p>One thing I would suggest is that if there is a holiday, like his birthday, and you know he's going to feel entitled to the day off from homework, you can either negotiate that after he does his homework, he gets his presents, or, maybe he gets a day off from homework anyway. IOW, try to anticipate that he's going to pull a stunt and nip it in the bud. It will save you 6 hrs in the ER!</p><p> </p><p>Another of Star's points--locks. Very good idea. </p><p> </p><p>One of the hardest things to do is not to engage with-your stepson. If he yells, don't yell back. If he pretends to pass out, walk away. (If you leave the house, be aware that he may trash it in anger, because he was ignored.)</p><p> </p><p>Overall, it does not sound like he is suited to live with-you or anyone right now who is not a professional.</p><p> </p><p>I agree with-others here, that you have to talk to his mom and step dad and make sure they understand he is not just a bad kid, he is mentally ill and possibly exhibiting signs of Asperger's (the lack of hygiene caught my attention, as did the running away because he met a girl for the first time and thought they were friends forever) and they need to help out with-mental health care, therapy and training. You have all got to understand that he has major, major issues. Regular parenting isn't going to work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 245574, member: 3419"] GwennyDonna, welcome. Wow, he's quite a handful. He needs serious therapy. I agree with-Star, he is getting major league attention and getting his way now that he's living with-you. The first thing I would do is sit down with-your husband and come up with-a plan so that you two are in agreement. You cannot let this child destroy your marriage. Don't forget, you've got another little one you are responsible for. Also, you need to agree with-your husband that your stepson has issues that are beyond your expertise. IOW, just disciplining him is not going to work. Things that work for regular kids are not going to work for him. One thing I would suggest is that if there is a holiday, like his birthday, and you know he's going to feel entitled to the day off from homework, you can either negotiate that after he does his homework, he gets his presents, or, maybe he gets a day off from homework anyway. IOW, try to anticipate that he's going to pull a stunt and nip it in the bud. It will save you 6 hrs in the ER! Another of Star's points--locks. Very good idea. One of the hardest things to do is not to engage with-your stepson. If he yells, don't yell back. If he pretends to pass out, walk away. (If you leave the house, be aware that he may trash it in anger, because he was ignored.) Overall, it does not sound like he is suited to live with-you or anyone right now who is not a professional. I agree with-others here, that you have to talk to his mom and step dad and make sure they understand he is not just a bad kid, he is mentally ill and possibly exhibiting signs of Asperger's (the lack of hygiene caught my attention, as did the running away because he met a girl for the first time and thought they were friends forever) and they need to help out with-mental health care, therapy and training. You have all got to understand that he has major, major issues. Regular parenting isn't going to work. [/QUOTE]
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