PsychMom, I know all of this is tough to digest. We here are truly worried for your safety and your baby's safety. The way you describe what Sal did with the dog is calculating. It's also bound to be disturbing to the dog. I think you are actually fortunate that you discovered what was happening. Think how horrible it would be if you discovered this when your own beautiful baby boy was 5 years old and had been molested by Sal. It isn't a stretch to think Sal will take advantage of a child when he is clearly taking advantage of a dog.
Sal has some serious issues. Issues that no amount of love can resolve at this point. I suspect that some horrible things have happened to him. He doesn't understand normal sexual boundaries. I'm so sorry that your husband is playing ostrich at the moment. I won't tell you what to do, but I will say that if I were in your shoes that I would take the baby and go stay somewhere else. I know you love your husband. I know he loves his son. But you cannot sacrifice the safety of your baby boy for this teenager who is obviously disturbed. I would remove myself in order to regroup, negotiate with my husband, and see what can be done about getting Sal appropriate help.
Many warm hugs.
