Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 609611" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Suz and Annie O. thank you so much for t he support. I am doing better. I mean...let's take a poll. How many of your difficult children have threatened to assassinate you? None, except 35? I thought so. NOBODY talks that way. It's SICK SICK SICK!</p><p></p><p>This kind of talk, which has been more than once, has pretty much made me afraid of him. I am also afraid of how he will treat his son, my grandson, if he does get 50/50 custody and his son suddenly is not so loving and compliant toward him. God help me, will he lose it on Grandson???? I still wonder, if he loses this, if he will actually go after his ex. Of course, I think the odds are very low, but there is something chilling about hearing, in a calm voice, "If you dare to contact ex, I will come up there and kill you." (Gulp).</p><p></p><p>I lost Scott long ago, but that was more sudden and did not include threats and was largely because Scott has attachment issues from his six years in a Hong Kong orphanage. I do not worry he will hurt anybody. I am glad his life is fruitful and good for him and that he found a compatible mate. I am now choosing to "no contact" Mark because, as Recovering Enabler said, no matter how I try to talk to him, we never have normal, calm, give-and-take conversations. It is more him talking in a monologue in anger or his yelling, swearing and threatening me. I have to admit we have never had a real relationship. </p><p></p><p>My husband remembers when he first moved in with us and 35 got abusive toward me and my husband pinned him against the wall and I interceded and told my husband to just let it go and walk away. I recall when 35 had to leave our house for threatening me, calling me names, and doing stuff to Julie that made her terrified of him. When we finally got a look at his tornado-like bedroom; the one he had bought a super-lock for and that nobody could get into, we were shocked at not only the mess, but what we found. We found tons of filled urine cans in his room because he was too lazy to go to the bathroom which was next door to his room. Um, not normal for an eighteen year old, no? We found that on his computer, 80% of his go-to places were sick porn (not normal porn). We found his cat almost feral and scratching us. Poor thing. We never did socialize him. He was too far gone and jumped on everyone, scratching them madly. Literally, we had to gut his entire room, carpeting included, furniture included, because it stunk. His room alone said, "I am not normal."</p><p></p><p>We had ten peaceful years from him because he was married, but he is back to Square One. His then wife and himself lived in ex's condo with ex for a while and he was sometimes abusive to ex, pushing him and swearing at him. This is how he has always been. God only knows how he treated his ex. I've often said she is borderline. She is. Two sickos found each other. But she did not deserve to be pushed or sworn at, if that is what he did to her. </p><p></p><p>As much as I hate to say this, it is not possible to have a civil relationship with 35 over the long term. So I have my dear husband and my three precious children...Julie, Sonic and Jumper. Not bad. I have my fuzzy doggies. I hope 35 doesn't call me and that I no longer have to feel I need to be a part of his lawsuit. </p><p></p><p>Whatever his problem is, it's big. And I can't handle it anymore. </p><p></p><p>Time to detach PLUS and concentrate on Jumper's volleyball game tonight. It's an important one and I always have fun at her games. It is simply time to move on and thank God for my blessings. Thursday I will go to Al-Anon (first meeting we have here) to get some real time support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 609611, member: 1550"] Suz and Annie O. thank you so much for t he support. I am doing better. I mean...let's take a poll. How many of your difficult children have threatened to assassinate you? None, except 35? I thought so. NOBODY talks that way. It's SICK SICK SICK! This kind of talk, which has been more than once, has pretty much made me afraid of him. I am also afraid of how he will treat his son, my grandson, if he does get 50/50 custody and his son suddenly is not so loving and compliant toward him. God help me, will he lose it on Grandson???? I still wonder, if he loses this, if he will actually go after his ex. Of course, I think the odds are very low, but there is something chilling about hearing, in a calm voice, "If you dare to contact ex, I will come up there and kill you." (Gulp). I lost Scott long ago, but that was more sudden and did not include threats and was largely because Scott has attachment issues from his six years in a Hong Kong orphanage. I do not worry he will hurt anybody. I am glad his life is fruitful and good for him and that he found a compatible mate. I am now choosing to "no contact" Mark because, as Recovering Enabler said, no matter how I try to talk to him, we never have normal, calm, give-and-take conversations. It is more him talking in a monologue in anger or his yelling, swearing and threatening me. I have to admit we have never had a real relationship. My husband remembers when he first moved in with us and 35 got abusive toward me and my husband pinned him against the wall and I interceded and told my husband to just let it go and walk away. I recall when 35 had to leave our house for threatening me, calling me names, and doing stuff to Julie that made her terrified of him. When we finally got a look at his tornado-like bedroom; the one he had bought a super-lock for and that nobody could get into, we were shocked at not only the mess, but what we found. We found tons of filled urine cans in his room because he was too lazy to go to the bathroom which was next door to his room. Um, not normal for an eighteen year old, no? We found that on his computer, 80% of his go-to places were sick porn (not normal porn). We found his cat almost feral and scratching us. Poor thing. We never did socialize him. He was too far gone and jumped on everyone, scratching them madly. Literally, we had to gut his entire room, carpeting included, furniture included, because it stunk. His room alone said, "I am not normal." We had ten peaceful years from him because he was married, but he is back to Square One. His then wife and himself lived in ex's condo with ex for a while and he was sometimes abusive to ex, pushing him and swearing at him. This is how he has always been. God only knows how he treated his ex. I've often said she is borderline. She is. Two sickos found each other. But she did not deserve to be pushed or sworn at, if that is what he did to her. As much as I hate to say this, it is not possible to have a civil relationship with 35 over the long term. So I have my dear husband and my three precious children...Julie, Sonic and Jumper. Not bad. I have my fuzzy doggies. I hope 35 doesn't call me and that I no longer have to feel I need to be a part of his lawsuit. Whatever his problem is, it's big. And I can't handle it anymore. Time to detach PLUS and concentrate on Jumper's volleyball game tonight. It's an important one and I always have fun at her games. It is simply time to move on and thank God for my blessings. Thursday I will go to Al-Anon (first meeting we have here) to get some real time support. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Help please! I need to ask if I was a bad mother. Feel like one.
Top