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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618461" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I found her having a drug party in our house. We came home one day early from a short vacation with the younger kids and she was supposed to be watching the dogs. At the time, she had convinced us she had quit using drugs and we wanted to believe her.</p><p></p><p>This last betrayal was our final straw. All we did was tell her she had to go; that she had no choice. Of course she freaked and told us she hated us, but we weren't backing down. Finally she called her brother, who is really straight, and begged him to pick her up and let her live with him. He is in the next state. he took her, but she was leaving with or without him. This was it. We'd been dealing with this drug use and defiance since she was twelve and we had two younger kids who were scared of her and of the times the cops came to our house looking for her. My younger kids cried hysterically one night when she was arrested, placed in handcuffs and put in the back of a squad car.</p><p></p><p>She quit while she was living with straight arrow brother because he had a zero tolerance policy and she knew he'd throw her out with no remorse or thought if she so much as lit up one cigarette in secret and he sniffed it. Funny, she quit while with him, because she knew he meant it, and not with us because she knew how upset i was and counted on me going back on my threats, which I too often did. She was 19 when she quit. She is 29 now and doing great.</p><p></p><p>I think too many of us are afraid of our kids hating us forever. I know i was terrified of that. i cried for three weeks straight after she left and i doubt I slept. But after a while, we all got used to the peace and quiet and she started calling again...and slowly i could hear how she was growing up and gaining maturity. Her brother made her get a job and walk up and back, pay rent, clean his house and cook. it was really slave labor, but it helped her regroup. I can't say what would have happened if she'd gone out and become homeless, but, at the point we were at when we made her leave, it was a choice between her staying at home or me having a serious nervous breakdown and unable to care for my two younger kids. I have a mood disorder and anxiety and was quickly losing my footing with her meltdowns and having to watch her lose to much weight that she looked like the walking dead...i decided not to watch her self-destruction. She wouldn't let me help her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618461, member: 1550"] I found her having a drug party in our house. We came home one day early from a short vacation with the younger kids and she was supposed to be watching the dogs. At the time, she had convinced us she had quit using drugs and we wanted to believe her. This last betrayal was our final straw. All we did was tell her she had to go; that she had no choice. Of course she freaked and told us she hated us, but we weren't backing down. Finally she called her brother, who is really straight, and begged him to pick her up and let her live with him. He is in the next state. he took her, but she was leaving with or without him. This was it. We'd been dealing with this drug use and defiance since she was twelve and we had two younger kids who were scared of her and of the times the cops came to our house looking for her. My younger kids cried hysterically one night when she was arrested, placed in handcuffs and put in the back of a squad car. She quit while she was living with straight arrow brother because he had a zero tolerance policy and she knew he'd throw her out with no remorse or thought if she so much as lit up one cigarette in secret and he sniffed it. Funny, she quit while with him, because she knew he meant it, and not with us because she knew how upset i was and counted on me going back on my threats, which I too often did. She was 19 when she quit. She is 29 now and doing great. I think too many of us are afraid of our kids hating us forever. I know i was terrified of that. i cried for three weeks straight after she left and i doubt I slept. But after a while, we all got used to the peace and quiet and she started calling again...and slowly i could hear how she was growing up and gaining maturity. Her brother made her get a job and walk up and back, pay rent, clean his house and cook. it was really slave labor, but it helped her regroup. I can't say what would have happened if she'd gone out and become homeless, but, at the point we were at when we made her leave, it was a choice between her staying at home or me having a serious nervous breakdown and unable to care for my two younger kids. I have a mood disorder and anxiety and was quickly losing my footing with her meltdowns and having to watch her lose to much weight that she looked like the walking dead...i decided not to watch her self-destruction. She wouldn't let me help her. [/QUOTE]
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