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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618555" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good for you llama1965, you made a very good choice. I know it's hard. Echolette gave you excellent advice. Remember that our kids are somewhat notorious around here for manipulation, secrets and lying, so you really must have the date etched in stone and there are no excuses for her to stay. She WILL find excuses and she will likely amp up her drama as the day gets closer, so be prepared. Once our kids think they will now have to be responsible for themselves and we are finished enabling them, they usually up the ante in a pretty dramatic way. She will likely resort to what has worked in the past, which is usually making YOU feel guilty about something, which then will shake your resolve significantly , enough to make you change your mind. It would be helpful if you could have a non family member, or someone not involved in your family dynamics to be present on the day so they can remind you of your commitment and also to escort her out. Our kids do not like to leave the place where they had total control and all the perks so be very prepared for the manipulations and the drama.</p><p></p><p>I have mental illness all over my family too.........it gives NO ONE a pass on personal responsibility for their actions. NO ONE.</p><p></p><p>You're doing a really good job........stay the course.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618555, member: 13542"] Good for you llama1965, you made a very good choice. I know it's hard. Echolette gave you excellent advice. Remember that our kids are somewhat notorious around here for manipulation, secrets and lying, so you really must have the date etched in stone and there are no excuses for her to stay. She WILL find excuses and she will likely amp up her drama as the day gets closer, so be prepared. Once our kids think they will now have to be responsible for themselves and we are finished enabling them, they usually up the ante in a pretty dramatic way. She will likely resort to what has worked in the past, which is usually making YOU feel guilty about something, which then will shake your resolve significantly , enough to make you change your mind. It would be helpful if you could have a non family member, or someone not involved in your family dynamics to be present on the day so they can remind you of your commitment and also to escort her out. Our kids do not like to leave the place where they had total control and all the perks so be very prepared for the manipulations and the drama. I have mental illness all over my family too.........it gives NO ONE a pass on personal responsibility for their actions. NO ONE. You're doing a really good job........stay the course. [/QUOTE]
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