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Help to get through a complicated situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 256314"><p>My son was your age when he went through a year of horrendous difficulties. Previously, he was a good kid...doing well, etc. and after a break up wit a girl, life went upside down in a major way. Since he was close to age 18, we sent him to a wilderness camp, followed by a boarding school. Some said it was extreme...and in some ways it was. We did it largely due to his age. We followed it with short term therapy at home and tough love. Today (knock on wood), he is a very productive...very happy...role model type. So, in the end...the money was well worth it. </p><p>So...I'm thinking if your son has poor grade performance, is very defiant and particularly if he is doing drugs...this would be a good choice (just double/triple check your choices).</p><p> </p><p>With reference to other choices...I'm not sure. It's too bad you don't get along with your sister. Your son has formed an alliance with her and is defiant. Now, he is using that alliance against you. Could you go to family counseling with you, your husband and son? Perhaps your sister and her husband could join in on some sessions.</p><p> </p><p>The trouble is...he lives in your house. It is your home and he needs to abide by your rules.</p><p> </p><p>What might you use to entice him to get to a doctor to get a possible diagnosis and/or treatment/therapy?</p><p> </p><p>On the home page of this website is a listing of books you can get that discuss life with teens. That is a difficult age. Boys mature later it seems. They also can get very depressed and it manifests in different ways than it does for girls. </p><p> </p><p>Does he have any interests? Sports? Hobbies? If these areas were explored/and or encouraged...perhaps he would feel better about himself.</p><p> </p><p>Make sure you keep your emotions in check. If your son sees you fly off the handle...he will use that against you. Do what you can to soothe your aching heart. Let this not be a "fake" thing either...find whatever tools you can to provide comfort during this stressful period.</p><p> </p><p>Wishing you well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 256314"] My son was your age when he went through a year of horrendous difficulties. Previously, he was a good kid...doing well, etc. and after a break up wit a girl, life went upside down in a major way. Since he was close to age 18, we sent him to a wilderness camp, followed by a boarding school. Some said it was extreme...and in some ways it was. We did it largely due to his age. We followed it with short term therapy at home and tough love. Today (knock on wood), he is a very productive...very happy...role model type. So, in the end...the money was well worth it. So...I'm thinking if your son has poor grade performance, is very defiant and particularly if he is doing drugs...this would be a good choice (just double/triple check your choices). With reference to other choices...I'm not sure. It's too bad you don't get along with your sister. Your son has formed an alliance with her and is defiant. Now, he is using that alliance against you. Could you go to family counseling with you, your husband and son? Perhaps your sister and her husband could join in on some sessions. The trouble is...he lives in your house. It is your home and he needs to abide by your rules. What might you use to entice him to get to a doctor to get a possible diagnosis and/or treatment/therapy? On the home page of this website is a listing of books you can get that discuss life with teens. That is a difficult age. Boys mature later it seems. They also can get very depressed and it manifests in different ways than it does for girls. Does he have any interests? Sports? Hobbies? If these areas were explored/and or encouraged...perhaps he would feel better about himself. Make sure you keep your emotions in check. If your son sees you fly off the handle...he will use that against you. Do what you can to soothe your aching heart. Let this not be a "fake" thing either...find whatever tools you can to provide comfort during this stressful period. Wishing you well. [/QUOTE]
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