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Help to get through a complicated situation
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 256547" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Hi and welcome, cakewalk. Sorry I'm coming in late. Everyone has made very good points and suggestions. I know how hard it is to consider letting go, but I have to say that in your position (I have been there done that re the anger, violence, punching walls, assaults, and ongoing h*** for my other kids and me) I would think about waiting this out and enjoying the peace and freedom from abuse that you have now. Your difficult child has inflicted so much on you and his brother. His brother deserves some calm and a stable household. There's no need to sign anything permanent right now and eventually difficult child will show his colors to your family. They may not admit it to you, but he isn't going to change his spots. </p><p></p><p>It hurts when your difficult child slanders you and others believe him. We've endured this too, we've had the false accusations of abuse, the CPS investigations, and even in the past year while our difficult child has been 20 he's slandered us to his rehab counselors, the social services people, and everyone he meets at work and socially. I have no doubt he'll continue to do it all his life. All we can do is keep our heads up and demonstrate, through our behavior, who we really are. Eventually difficult child makes his 'charming' self clearer to people and they begin taking a second look at his assertions. If they don't, there's nothing I can do about it. Developing a very heavy rhino skin has been part of the process.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you're in this position. But letting things chill for a while and getting on with your life could be very sanity-restoring. </p><p></p><p>All the best,</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 256547, member: 2884"] Hi and welcome, cakewalk. Sorry I'm coming in late. Everyone has made very good points and suggestions. I know how hard it is to consider letting go, but I have to say that in your position (I have been there done that re the anger, violence, punching walls, assaults, and ongoing h*** for my other kids and me) I would think about waiting this out and enjoying the peace and freedom from abuse that you have now. Your difficult child has inflicted so much on you and his brother. His brother deserves some calm and a stable household. There's no need to sign anything permanent right now and eventually difficult child will show his colors to your family. They may not admit it to you, but he isn't going to change his spots. It hurts when your difficult child slanders you and others believe him. We've endured this too, we've had the false accusations of abuse, the CPS investigations, and even in the past year while our difficult child has been 20 he's slandered us to his rehab counselors, the social services people, and everyone he meets at work and socially. I have no doubt he'll continue to do it all his life. All we can do is keep our heads up and demonstrate, through our behavior, who we really are. Eventually difficult child makes his 'charming' self clearer to people and they begin taking a second look at his assertions. If they don't, there's nothing I can do about it. Developing a very heavy rhino skin has been part of the process. I'm sorry you're in this position. But letting things chill for a while and getting on with your life could be very sanity-restoring. All the best, [/QUOTE]
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