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Help - TOO detached? - Do I really continue to do nothing?
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<blockquote data-quote="Rhonda" data-source="post: 249779" data-attributes="member: 6732"><p>Thank you all for such quick replies. I have been sitting here wallowing in self pity, knowing that there are so many who are in much worse situations that I am. But occasionally, I have to breakdown and today was it. </p><p> </p><p>I know that she does drugs. I am not sure if she is an addict or not.. I can definitely tell a difference when I talk to her if she is drinking or doing drugs and I can only hope. I think she may be selling herself because she has no money, not just for drugs, but she has no money for food, clothes, nothing. She does not turn to me because she knows that I will expect her to do what is right and she does not have enough belief in herself to think she can accomplish that. She is running from every mistake she makes and I am terrified for her. You are right, she is ashamed to see me. I would never send her money, or help in any way except with therapy and by giving her a home (in that order). </p><p> </p><p>I just talked to her and it was so amazing.. I had not read these posts but when talking to her I asked if she was afraid and she told me yes that she is sometimes when she lets herself think about it. Then she told me she is moving to Nashiville tomorrow. I asked her at this point to not do that, I asked her to please come back home and lets start trying to make things right with the police and get her headed on another path. All she said was that she was tired and could she call me tomorrow. </p><p> </p><p>She is moving to live with more drug people I am sure. She told me that she and her friend (girl) were going to live with her "uncle" who happens to have a spare bedroom and already has jobs for both of the girls.... what the heck does that sound like to you!!! </p><p> </p><p>I have faced the past 2 1/2 years by finding ways to change and keep moving forward. <span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">I have never given up on her, but I have run out of things to try. It really is different when the girl has antisocial disorder, because they truly can not see things the way most teens do. Even when faced with the consequences they do not believe it. They don't feel the way most of us do about things. My daughter is so loving but is also fascinated with everything dark...death, pain, drugs, .... her therapists all said the same thing.. that she was living her life on the edge, with one foot in the light and one in the dark, and the problem is that the dark is much more fascinating. They tried to help her find reasons to want to go toward the light, but even she says she just can't help herself.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000">I want to fly out there now and get her. But I could not bear watching her choose to walk away from me to whatever she is headed for and part of me thinks that is what she would do.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000">I will work on a profile.. I dont know how to do that but will start now</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #000000">Thanks again.. you are all so wonderful.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rhonda, post: 249779, member: 6732"] Thank you all for such quick replies. I have been sitting here wallowing in self pity, knowing that there are so many who are in much worse situations that I am. But occasionally, I have to breakdown and today was it. I know that she does drugs. I am not sure if she is an addict or not.. I can definitely tell a difference when I talk to her if she is drinking or doing drugs and I can only hope. I think she may be selling herself because she has no money, not just for drugs, but she has no money for food, clothes, nothing. She does not turn to me because she knows that I will expect her to do what is right and she does not have enough belief in herself to think she can accomplish that. She is running from every mistake she makes and I am terrified for her. You are right, she is ashamed to see me. I would never send her money, or help in any way except with therapy and by giving her a home (in that order). I just talked to her and it was so amazing.. I had not read these posts but when talking to her I asked if she was afraid and she told me yes that she is sometimes when she lets herself think about it. Then she told me she is moving to Nashiville tomorrow. I asked her at this point to not do that, I asked her to please come back home and lets start trying to make things right with the police and get her headed on another path. All she said was that she was tired and could she call me tomorrow. She is moving to live with more drug people I am sure. She told me that she and her friend (girl) were going to live with her "uncle" who happens to have a spare bedroom and already has jobs for both of the girls.... what the heck does that sound like to you!!! I have faced the past 2 1/2 years by finding ways to change and keep moving forward. [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]I have never given up on her, but I have run out of things to try. It really is different when the girl has antisocial disorder, because they truly can not see things the way most teens do. Even when faced with the consequences they do not believe it. They don't feel the way most of us do about things. My daughter is so loving but is also fascinated with everything dark...death, pain, drugs, .... her therapists all said the same thing.. that she was living her life on the edge, with one foot in the light and one in the dark, and the problem is that the dark is much more fascinating. They tried to help her find reasons to want to go toward the light, but even she says she just can't help herself.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]I want to fly out there now and get her. But I could not bear watching her choose to walk away from me to whatever she is headed for and part of me thinks that is what she would do.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]I will work on a profile.. I dont know how to do that but will start now[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]Thanks again.. you are all so wonderful.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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