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Parent Emeritus
Help - TOO detached? - Do I really continue to do nothing?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 249899"><p>I've taken a quick look at your posts and my heart goes out to you.</p><p>I think it is good that you offer to listen when she wants to talk.</p><p>Much of detaching means what the others have said (as near as I can figure it...I'm still working on it myself).</p><p>You can always offer to provide for medical care. Let her know that this door is open to her. This might include mental health or drug rehab if warranted and if you are able and willing AND this is what she wants and she is cooperative. But again...she would have to do her part.</p><p>YOu might let her know that you love her and wish her well.</p><p>If she sees a physician, you might gain insight and be able to have testing done to see if there is more going on here.</p><p>You can't really open the door much, if at all, if she is using drug and behaving inappropriately.</p><p>She is making really awful choices as a young adult. You need to move forward with your life.</p><p>If she asks for advice...I would give it. I would let her know that you would like to provide medical assistance for her. I would always be willing to listen, as you have. I would let her know that she is loved.</p><p>I would hestiate to do more than this. Really think long and hard before making any moves. Really, really think it over. She has choices, just like you have choices. </p><p>One way to overcome this horrible pain in your heart is to accept your choice to let go of any guilt here. Let her be accountable for her choices. You can assist her a little in any real efforts to get better. It is minimum. It is very limited. She has to make the choice to get better. Your choice is to let this stuff go and then it will be less painful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 249899"] I've taken a quick look at your posts and my heart goes out to you. I think it is good that you offer to listen when she wants to talk. Much of detaching means what the others have said (as near as I can figure it...I'm still working on it myself). You can always offer to provide for medical care. Let her know that this door is open to her. This might include mental health or drug rehab if warranted and if you are able and willing AND this is what she wants and she is cooperative. But again...she would have to do her part. YOu might let her know that you love her and wish her well. If she sees a physician, you might gain insight and be able to have testing done to see if there is more going on here. You can't really open the door much, if at all, if she is using drug and behaving inappropriately. She is making really awful choices as a young adult. You need to move forward with your life. If she asks for advice...I would give it. I would let her know that you would like to provide medical assistance for her. I would always be willing to listen, as you have. I would let her know that she is loved. I would hestiate to do more than this. Really think long and hard before making any moves. Really, really think it over. She has choices, just like you have choices. One way to overcome this horrible pain in your heart is to accept your choice to let go of any guilt here. Let her be accountable for her choices. You can assist her a little in any real efforts to get better. It is minimum. It is very limited. She has to make the choice to get better. Your choice is to let this stuff go and then it will be less painful. [/QUOTE]
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Help - TOO detached? - Do I really continue to do nothing?
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