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help with expectations
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<blockquote data-quote="fras" data-source="post: 595504" data-attributes="member: 16354"><p>Hi. This is my first post, but need advice. I'm a newly married man with no kids of my own with a wife that has 3 kids from two fathers. Her oldest son, of which she blamed her Ex's "meanness" to him as a result of their divorce, has just moved back Into our home with his friend. They are 20 years old and he is lazy, piercings in his face, grungy hair, and no job. I sat down with him and offered to give him advice as he wants a job and to move forward with his life. The first things I asked for was to cut the hair and take the piercings out to act grown up. The problem lies is that since he didn't want to, his mom makes excuses and continues to defend he's a good kid. He lies, has done drugs, no drivers license, outstanding tickets preventing him from getting a license, lazy, and not too bright. </p><p></p><p>My question is, at what level should I show frustration. Honestly, I took it as utmost disrespect that he is making an issue of cutting his hair when both his mom and I are supporting him. Mom defends his every action. He left the house and didn't come home for 2 days...she defended him by saying he was justified because we had t addressed it specifically yet. Please help<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="fras, post: 595504, member: 16354"] Hi. This is my first post, but need advice. I'm a newly married man with no kids of my own with a wife that has 3 kids from two fathers. Her oldest son, of which she blamed her Ex's "meanness" to him as a result of their divorce, has just moved back Into our home with his friend. They are 20 years old and he is lazy, piercings in his face, grungy hair, and no job. I sat down with him and offered to give him advice as he wants a job and to move forward with his life. The first things I asked for was to cut the hair and take the piercings out to act grown up. The problem lies is that since he didn't want to, his mom makes excuses and continues to defend he's a good kid. He lies, has done drugs, no drivers license, outstanding tickets preventing him from getting a license, lazy, and not too bright. My question is, at what level should I show frustration. Honestly, I took it as utmost disrespect that he is making an issue of cutting his hair when both his mom and I are supporting him. Mom defends his every action. He left the house and didn't come home for 2 days...she defended him by saying he was justified because we had t addressed it specifically yet. Please help:mad: [/QUOTE]
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