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General Parenting
Help with son and my wife, his step mom
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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 601160" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>Why would you tell your son about the cheating?</p><p></p><p>You confided in him as some point as if he were an equal about your marriage, he believes he is entitled to an equal opinion on the matter.</p><p></p><p>And quite frankly he is entitled to his opinion. You have every right in the world to make your marriage work but at 14 a child has his own mind and vilifying your wife probably quite a bit during the separation and the cheating, you opened this door. </p><p></p><p></p><p>A family in my opinion can over come initial dislike In a melded family situation but you and your wife are clearly having issues and you aren't keeping it private you aren't keeping it an adult matter you are inviting everyone to weigh in on what kind of wife she is. </p><p></p><p>You have effectively cut her out of being an authority figure in your house and now you want to take it all back? You can't.</p><p></p><p>The only thing I would advise is either you and your son or you or you and your son and a counselor sit down and have a discussion about the situation. If you are determined to work out your issues with your wife you will have to explain to him point blank that you were wrong for airing your grievances to him. It wasn't fair to him to tell him and then expect it all to be okay. But it's not okay either for him to manipulate you into leaving your marriage. But do not expect him to be kosher with taking orders and direction from her, you burnt that bridge it will take trust building on all sides for her to have anything like a parenting relationship with him again. </p><p></p><p>I have been cheated on and I am sorry because I know it hurts.</p><p></p><p>But you are inviting your kids to participate in your dysfunctional marriage and that's not really okay.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 601160, member: 16184"] Why would you tell your son about the cheating? You confided in him as some point as if he were an equal about your marriage, he believes he is entitled to an equal opinion on the matter. And quite frankly he is entitled to his opinion. You have every right in the world to make your marriage work but at 14 a child has his own mind and vilifying your wife probably quite a bit during the separation and the cheating, you opened this door. A family in my opinion can over come initial dislike In a melded family situation but you and your wife are clearly having issues and you aren't keeping it private you aren't keeping it an adult matter you are inviting everyone to weigh in on what kind of wife she is. You have effectively cut her out of being an authority figure in your house and now you want to take it all back? You can't. The only thing I would advise is either you and your son or you or you and your son and a counselor sit down and have a discussion about the situation. If you are determined to work out your issues with your wife you will have to explain to him point blank that you were wrong for airing your grievances to him. It wasn't fair to him to tell him and then expect it all to be okay. But it's not okay either for him to manipulate you into leaving your marriage. But do not expect him to be kosher with taking orders and direction from her, you burnt that bridge it will take trust building on all sides for her to have anything like a parenting relationship with him again. I have been cheated on and I am sorry because I know it hurts. But you are inviting your kids to participate in your dysfunctional marriage and that's not really okay. [/QUOTE]
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