This week we took our son to see a psychologist for help with his anger, anxiety, defiance issues. We are still waiting to get into the local childrens' hospital for a formal evaluation, but in the meantime we decided to go ahead and see someone. We've read "The Explosive Child" and have been implementing the advice in the book and much of the time it worked well. The psychologist wanted us to continue using those methods for our son's behavior that seems anxiety driven (which is a lot of it), but wanted us to try the 1-2-3 time-out approach for behavior that is more willful. Every day since then has been a disaster. Of course, one minute after we walked in the door from the doctor's, my son called me an idiot. By the third name he was in his room. He won't go on his own so it involves me either carrying him or dragging him, which isn't easy with- a 7 year-old. Virtually every hour of the day since then (when he's not at school) has involved him testing the time out rules with constant name-calling, hitting, etc. I understand the need to be consistent and that behavior like that is unacceptable. My struggle is with the fact that 1) I don't think time out are an effective discipline technique for my son. We've used them in the past for long periods and they never resulted in any real behavior change; and 2) his behavior took a complete nosedive once we started into the power struggle of the time outs. I guess what I'm wondering is if any of you try to follow the guildelines in "The Explosive Child" almost exclusively and don't do time outs or limit them to the most severe behaviors? I don't feel like what we're doing right now is effective, and it's setting up these ridiculous power struggles where no one is learning anything or changing any behaviors. But at the same time, I don't want our son to think it's okay to name call or that he can change the rules by acting out. I just feel so tired right now and at the end of my rope and I don't feel like anyone is giving us the help we need. Any ideas/thoughts would be really appreciated!