Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wes, May 16, 2009.

  1. wes

    wes New Member

    I'm new here and i have a 5 yr who is ADHD ODD and has turrets syndrome I can no longer handle him if anyone has any idea's PLEASE let me no he is destroying my house and does not seem to be bothered by punishments:sad-very:
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi wes and welcome to our world. I'm sorry to hear how difficult it is at your house.
    Have you done any reading or research on Tourette's syndrome?
    Who diagnosed him?
    What sort of treatment plan is your doctor planning?
    Maybe you can fill in a few more details. We would like to know more background.
    What sort of behaviors are you seeing?
    How is he doing in school? socially and academically?
    Does he take any medications or therapy?
    What's the family history like? Anything similar to relatives?

    Punishments don't seem to work as far as I can see. It will have to be more of a behavior modification plan and that takes time.

    So I have more questions than suggestions but bare with me. Please enter a profile signature. The directions are found in the faq/board help forum. It helps us keep everyone straight. Thanks.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi Wes and welcome, you aren't alone anymore. I second Fran's questions and have one to add:

    Did difficult child's tourette's or ODD come out after starting a stimulant?
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome, Wes. Glad you're on board, help is here. Also, I suggest you do some reading on posts over in the Early Childhood forum, especially look at the discussion on the book "The Explosive Child". It's a great book, it can help across a wide range of "GFGness".

    End of school year is always worse, for staff, students and parents. If the child has a confirmed diagnosis then schools SHOULD be able to put supports in place (Special Education forum can also help here, with even more specific info). Too often we as parents feel like we're strugglnig in the dark, lurching from crisis to crisis. Help is available but you need to know what questions to ask and which words to use. We can help with h here as well, because so many of us have been there ahead of you and can alert you to how to get the best help for the least struggle.

  5. wes

    wes New Member

    Thank you everyone here is some background My son was kicked out of preschool and then diagnosed when he was 3 with ADHD and ODD his psychologist put him on folcilin that's when the ticks started so we switched to adderal we started from the bottom low dose the ticks were still there but the medications seem to help (a little) as he grew we had to keep uping it. then we had to give him 1 in the am and 1 at noon but then he would not sleep so we added clonidean the ticks started to get worse so we were told about a month ago he has turrets. we reached the highest we could go on adderal so he switched him to concerta which had bad side effects so we are trying stratara. His behavior is: Yelling at adalts all the time, i can not leave him alone for a second because he will destroy what ever is closest. He has been getting naked and dancing with his 3yr sis barking at other children and it seems he does not care about punishments he also does not have any comon sence and loves to pee all over his room. He is very loving towards me and his father at times and test at an 8yr for acidemics (he is VERY smart) but he can be so sneaky and spitfull and lies so much i don't know if he knows his truth anymore any more ? please ask
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.

    OMG. I can't believe they kept him on stimulants and even upped the doses when he had ticks. That gets me mad :mad:. Who told you he has Tourettes? A Neurologist? I wouldn't trust anyone but a neurologist who knows they started when he began taking stimulants.

    Also, are you positive the ADHD/ODD diagnosis. is right? Does he do well on the medications (aside from the side effects?). Often kids with mood disorders freak out on Straterra, which is an antidepressant. Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of your child's family tree? Does anyone abuse substances, possibly self-medicating a mood disorder? Was your child's early development typical as far as speech, eye contact, cuddling, relating to his same age peers, playing normally with toys? Can he socialize well now? I would want him tested for autistic spectrum disorder--maybe Aspergers. But I'd want him also tested for everything else. It sounds to me more than ADHD. It could be a bad reaction to the medications too if the peeing and dancing and acting manicky is new.

    I would be leery of everyone who has so far diagnosed him and, if he were my kid, I'd take him for a total evaluation with a neuropsychologist. How do you feel about things? A parent's gut feeling is often very perceptive. We tend to "know" even if we aren't told.
  7. wes

    wes New Member

    OMG you said everything i have been thinking I really feel it is more then ADHA/ODD but his doctor want even think about anything else and i would love to get him in with a neurologist but I don't know how should I call my insurance or do I need a referral. His teacher and my mother also feel he maybe on the spectrum. As an infant all he did was scream he has always had a hard time soothing himself but he has always been affectionate and alert he also has been way ahead of his peers with language motor skills and academic but socially not as well other children seem to think he is annoying and he is always correcting them if they say something wrong my side of the family has bipolar and depression well my husband side has a shut in and dementia as well as more just not diagnosed as for self medicating there's a lot unfortunately
  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Wes! Hi! Sounds like you've gotten a whole lot of nothing from the medical industry! I'd suggest a neuropsychologist also. Your son sounds a lot like mine was and went nuts trying to find out what I could. I've attached a couple of links for places in Ohio that you may be able to call for some information.

    As far as insurance goes, everyone's got something different. On the back of your insurance card there's usually a cust. svc. number. Just call them and see what you need to do to go to a pediatric neurologist and for a neuropsychologist evaluation. They'll let you know if you need a referral. Also, in the tiny writing, they may have a different number, and see what you might need through them.

    Keep checking back and let us know how it goes!

  9. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Hi Wes. I wanted to add my welcome. You have gotten great advice.

    My difficult child was removed form daycare very early as well. Punishment was NEVER helpful. Behavior Mod plans have been helpful.

    Listen to your instincts and keep asking. As was said, the medical community hasn't been the most helpful. It took several different evaluations and docs for me to finally feel the diagnosis and/or treatments "fit" my difficult child.

    Remember, you are not alone on this. Hang in there.
  10. wes

    wes New Member

    Thank you so much for the support I am glad to know i am not the only one with a wild child lol I love my difficult child to death it's just hard sometimes to like him wow that sounds so horrible it's just been so hard lately and most of our family does not aggre with anything I say or do it is mostly in my head according to them but they don't live with him so thanks again i will try those tips and keep in touch:faint:
  11. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Hi, Wes.

    I'm new here too, but I've already received much support, encouragement and wisdom. You'll be glad you came. After many years of living with difficult child's struggles, I've found that family and friends are not always helpful in this area. They can't be empathetic because they don't see the day-in, day-out challenges. They don't see our gestures of love thrown back in our faces by angry difficult children. They don't see our attempts to discipline and teach and guide; they just see our difficult children' failure to comply. The parents here are on the same journey, so they "get it." They have felt the same pain and the same joy over small things that others take for granted, like one peaceful evening.

    There are times when we don't like our difficult children because they behave in a very unlikeable way. That doesn't mean we love them any less. And our kids know that, despite what they say to us. In fact, my difficult child, in an extremely rare moment of self-awareness, once admitted that he unloads everything on me simply because he knows that I am the person who will love him no matter what. But again, this community seems to be the one place where it's OK to share feelings that other parents wouldn't understand.

    Hugs to you!
  12. wes

    wes New Member

    Grace, thank you so much for your hug and understanding. May I ask how your difficult child is now that he is older ie: school, behavior, social, family. My difficult child is having a hard time with all except academics. Also when your difficult child was younger was there anything special that may have help control outbursts
  13. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member


    In some ways difficult child is doing well, others not so much. Socially he's great; that's never been a problem for him. Bright, funny, many nice friends. School is really up & down, depending on his interest level. If he's engaged, he gets A's; if he couldn't care less, or if he doesn't like the teacher, he gets terrible grades because he just doesn't do the work. Family is where the problems generally occur. He is still extremely defiant -- adolescence and ADHD/ODD do not make a happy combination! :( He often is antagonistic, mean-spirited and generally doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. On the bright side (if you can call it that), his bullying is less physical and more verbal. It used to be the other way around.

    Getting the right medications helped. The techniques in The Explosive Child helped (sometimes, not always). Counseling helped a bit, but he quit going about a year ago because he didn't see the results and said it was "boring." Teaching him to do something physical when he was angry helped when he was younger -- going out & shooting baskets was a good one. Acknowledging appropriate behavior (e.g., catching himself before he said something horrid) helped.

    I don't want to sugar coat it. This is a long, difficult, demanding journey that requires lots of trial-and-error. There are many days when I just want to run from the house screaming. (Yesterday was one of them, in fact!) :faint: But there are also many small triumphs along the way, and tender moments to savor. I'm seeing lots of good advice on this board. It's important to remember that what works well for a easy child will not necessarily work for a difficult child, so don't be surprised if you have to try a lot of methods before you find the ones that suit your unique difficult child.

    Wishing you the best!

  14. wes

    wes New Member

    so I can't understand why my difficult child's doctor is only treating his ADHD and not his ODD I asked him and he said he is still to young yet and we should wait till he is older. My fear is if we wait it will be even hard for us to manage him. He is 5 going 6 in Sept.
  15. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    I'm really puzzled by the doctor's reply -- wait until he's older?! Huh?!

    ODD is really a description of a constellation of symptoms. It almost always travels with other conditions, e.g., ADHD. There is no medication to treat ODD per se. medications can be used to treat the underlying disorder, and then "treating" ODD -- I think "managing" is a better word -- is a matter of redirecting the inappropriate behavior. And there's no single way to do that.

    In our case, it was a long time before the psychiatrist used ODD to describe difficult child. A thorough evaluation (similar to the neuropsychologist evaluation. that many here recommend), regular observations, trial & error on different medications, and ruling out other conditions (e.g., bipolar) came first.


  16. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I don't think there really is specific treatment for ODD. Instead, we treat the underluing condition (the ADHD, for example, in this case) and we do out best to manage it ourselves.

    In our ase, it was "Explosive Child" methods that helped us turn things around. Also at the moment, now that difficult child 3 is 15, we're beginning to really address some issues (whatever is left still unresolved) with therapy and counselling. Five or six is still too young for really effective CBT, that may be what the doctor meant.