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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 296021" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think it is time to tell your husband to fish or cut bait. He MUST stop standing in the way of her treatment. She NEEDS treatment NOW, not in a few years. The things he is yelling at her just make her hurt inside. How would YOU feel if at just six years old your father SCREAMED to you that he wanted to give you away??????</p><p></p><p>THAT IS CHILD ABUSE. No matter what she does telling her stuff like that is just going to make it worse and is going to gain you a visit by child protection. If I saw the neighborhood brat being screamed at by a parent more than once I would wonder if the parent caused teh child's behavior.</p><p></p><p>I KNOW you are doing what you think you can. You have got to take the blinders off and actually work with a doctor to help save your daughter. medications are trial and error. NO medication is perfect. There are side effects. But in this case the impact of not treating her with medications will be her possible future, and likely your marriage. Sooner or later your husband will walk or you will. This kind of stress kills marriages. Esp when you are sitting there wtih the medications and he is in the way. You may have to just ignore him as you go through medications until you find the right ones to help her. It isn't a fun process, but it will help give her a life. And give you a life.</p><p></p><p>This may sound harsh. Life is harsh, often. Esp with those of us with difficult children. What you have been doing, non-medicine and just behavior mod isn't working. Take husband's objections out of the picture and start treating that girl so she can finally live up to the standards expected of her. Right now she simply isn't capable. </p><p></p><p>Behavior mod and screaming are going to land her in a world of trouble. So far her self esteem is so damaged by the battles of behavior mod that she probably feels she simply cannot do anything right. She doesn't know how to earn positive reinforcement.</p><p></p><p>You ALL need help and support. Get family therapy. Also get a marriage counsellor because this is going to tear you apart and you can at least try to avoid that. Do NOT leave her outside while he is screaming at her. Take her away from him, send him out to cool off, whatever. That is just not working and is making things worse.</p><p></p><p>I sincerely hope you and your husband can get off the fence. The medications are scary. But, really, isn't life already pretty dang scary already? Why would you deny her a happy childhood? She has a right to the pursuit of happiness also, and for her that probably means she will need medicine. ALL kids have a right to grow up with-o being screamed at that their parents don't want them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 296021, member: 1233"] I think it is time to tell your husband to fish or cut bait. He MUST stop standing in the way of her treatment. She NEEDS treatment NOW, not in a few years. The things he is yelling at her just make her hurt inside. How would YOU feel if at just six years old your father SCREAMED to you that he wanted to give you away?????? THAT IS CHILD ABUSE. No matter what she does telling her stuff like that is just going to make it worse and is going to gain you a visit by child protection. If I saw the neighborhood brat being screamed at by a parent more than once I would wonder if the parent caused teh child's behavior. I KNOW you are doing what you think you can. You have got to take the blinders off and actually work with a doctor to help save your daughter. medications are trial and error. NO medication is perfect. There are side effects. But in this case the impact of not treating her with medications will be her possible future, and likely your marriage. Sooner or later your husband will walk or you will. This kind of stress kills marriages. Esp when you are sitting there wtih the medications and he is in the way. You may have to just ignore him as you go through medications until you find the right ones to help her. It isn't a fun process, but it will help give her a life. And give you a life. This may sound harsh. Life is harsh, often. Esp with those of us with difficult children. What you have been doing, non-medicine and just behavior mod isn't working. Take husband's objections out of the picture and start treating that girl so she can finally live up to the standards expected of her. Right now she simply isn't capable. Behavior mod and screaming are going to land her in a world of trouble. So far her self esteem is so damaged by the battles of behavior mod that she probably feels she simply cannot do anything right. She doesn't know how to earn positive reinforcement. You ALL need help and support. Get family therapy. Also get a marriage counsellor because this is going to tear you apart and you can at least try to avoid that. Do NOT leave her outside while he is screaming at her. Take her away from him, send him out to cool off, whatever. That is just not working and is making things worse. I sincerely hope you and your husband can get off the fence. The medications are scary. But, really, isn't life already pretty dang scary already? Why would you deny her a happy childhood? She has a right to the pursuit of happiness also, and for her that probably means she will need medicine. ALL kids have a right to grow up with-o being screamed at that their parents don't want them. [/QUOTE]
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